High School Au- Bungou Stray Dogs AU

im so tierd

TW: slight s*lf h*rm, panick attacks, su*c*dal thoughts

Dazais P.O.V.

I end up spending lunch in that nice teachers office. I don't really tell her much I mostly just stay quite besides one or two sentences and questions. "Why are you helping me? And also I still don't trust you. Your gonna tell the school everything I say." "I'm not gonna tell them. And I wanna help you because your clearly going through things" I don't understand people. "...i miss class cause of my mental health usually...and I do have a lot going on. A lot that I'm not willing to share right now...can I please skip the homework today I need a break" she just nods and I'm honestly relived. "Thank you so much" "it's not a problem. You should head to your next class now" "alright" I nod and walk away.

I end up spending the next class hiding in the bathroom crying. I've been holding in my tears all day. I lightly hit myself in the head a few times. "Worthless letdown disappointment moron failure...thats all I'll ever be" I just lay on the floor of this basically abandoned bathroom until I stop crying. Then I get up and walk to my class even though i missed half of it. The teacher there looks at me "ugh. Where were you this time?" "I was in the office" a shitty lie but honestly kind of believable seeing how I am. I sit at my desk and doze off.

Once my last few classes are over and we all start walking back to atsushis house they start asking where I was. "Dazai where did you go during lunch" "oh- my first period teacher wanted to meet with me. She ended up letting me talk to her like a conslouer expect she isn't gonna tell the school anything I say" "alright but be careful" "I will."

When we get to atsus house and I go up to his room I face plant onto his bed like always. "Alright what happend?" "I'm so exhausted I just wanna sit here and sob." "Then you can. I'm not gonna judge you" atsushi runs his fingers through my hair and I start sobbing into his pillows. "I can't take this anymore I just wanna be happy" "dazy- listen- it's wanna be oka-" "BUT ITS NOT. I CONSTANTLY HAVE LIKE 10 BAD THOUGHTS AT THE LEAST. SCREAMING AT ME IN MY MIND. IM SO TIERD. AND SCHOOL IS SHIT." After that I just stop talking. After a minute he lays next to me and we start cuddling. "Calm down dazy." I stay quite and put my head up to his chest. I grip his shirt with my hands. "Stay like this...please...I feel safe" he wraps his arms around me "of course"