Our choice

|chapter 2|

Our Choice

Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.

✿

It's been a week now.

A week ago I told Theo my secret, my deepest secret. First, he tried to apologise, he tried to comfort me. I didn't let him do that though. I pushed him away, told him to leave.

Ever since then, I've been ignoring his messages and calls. Which isn't easy. Each time, I have to tell myself, "Ignore him Shai. Don't answer this message. Don't answer that call."

If he had called or messaged me this much a month ago, I'd been the happiest girl on earth. And believe me, I want to be happy, I want to answer his calls and messages.

But I can't. He's engaged, getting married. And to who?

To Ruth Kearney.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate her. But we aren't friends either.
I've always had the feeling that she's faking. Whenever she talks to me, or when she smiles at me, it doesn't look real.

But anyways, what's my part in that? It's their relationship, their wedding. Not mine. As long as Theo is happy right?

I hear my phone buzzing, waking me up from my thoughts.

Since we started filming Insurgent, which is almost 7 months ago now, my publicist gave me a phone. "For emergencies", she told me. Okay, I understand people need to be able to contact me, but I don't need a smartphone right?

I look over to my side, and see Theo's face on the screen.

"Should I...? No. Ignore it. Ignore him, Shai", I think.

I press the 'ignore' button, and immediately get a message from him.

Shai, please. Please, answer me. Let me explain at least.

I unlock my phone, going to our chat. Scrolling up, I see all the messages Theo has sent me since last week. Before I know what I'm doing, I see the message I just typed;

Explaining what? There's nothing you can explain Theo. Just leave it.

I press the 'send' button.

I sigh and lock my phone. But it doesn't really matter, because after a few seconds my phone lights up. I unlock my phone again to see Theo's message.

Let me try. Please. Shai, please can you open the door?

I sigh again, louder this time. Burying my face in my hands, I shake my head. I bite my lip, holding back the tears.

Don't cry. Don't cry. What is wrong with you Shai? Don't cry over a man who doesn't need you.

I hear a knock on my door, "Shai? Please... I... I just... just please will you open your door?"

I recognise his voice, I always can. Even if he'd stand at the other side of a crowed room, I would recognise his voice. And of course, after the message I just got, I know who this is. Theo.

I take a deep breath and walk out of my kitchen, leaving my phone on the counter.

I can't just not open the door, right? He probably traveled a few hours, just to talk to me. I may be a horrible person, but I'm not this horrible.

"Shai, please. I know you're home. Please let me explain," I hear Theo say. His voice is weak, it sounds like he hasn't slept for days.

I feel pain in my chest, a spark of guilt going through my body. "That's my fault," I think, "It's my fault that he hasn't slept for days."

I lay my hand on the door handle when he says, "Please. Please, Shai I don't know what to do, I..."

Silence.

For a few minutes, there's no sound to hear. It's like a dream, but at the same time it's a nightmare.

And then, after a moment, I hear sobs on the other side of the door. The first thing that I think of is, "Is he crying? Theo, crying?"

I've never seen him crying. Never.

Before you could count to three, I open the door, not able to ignore him any longer. I see a pair of eyes staring at me. Two dark brown eyes, filled with tears, staring at me.

Oh God, I've missed these eyes.

"Shai," he whispers with a rough voice. He coughs, "Shai, I'm sorry."

I see a tear on his cheek, and feel my eyes filling themselves too.

"Dont cry," I tell myself. "Don't let him do this again."

I shake my head, "Theo," is the only thing I can bring out.

"Shai," he says with a sob.

"Theo," I say, not caring how stupid it may sound. And I'm not able to hold my tears back.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks, everything I see gets blurry. It's like a waterfall, and I can't stop it. I can't stop, I just can't.

The next thing I know, two strong arms are holding me tight. "We'll find a way. We'll get through this," is the last thing I hear Theo say. "We'll get through this, together."

I don't know what he's talking about.
But I don't mind.
He's here.
He's here and he cares.
He cares about me.

AN: I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, I'm not English :) Did y'all see the Final trailer for Insurgent? OMG. It's amazing right? I hope you have a good day/night!