Our choice

|chapter 17|

Our Choice

Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.

✿

I stand still for what feels like an entirety. It feels like my heart stopped beating, I can't hear my heartbeat anymore. It also seems like everything around me is fading away, "This is not real," I try to convince myself, "Theo did not just say that."

But when I look up, right before me is Theo still standing there, just as he was a few moments ago. The bloodshot eyes that once made me feel like I wanted to comfort him, only make me angry right now. I feel myself getting more and more angry by the second.

I inhale with shaky breaths as I repeat to myself what he just said. "I did not choose to be her friend, I did not choose any of this!"

I blink a few times to make sure I'm not dreaming, every part of me is wishing he did not say that to Ruth. This can't be true, he cannot possibly have been lying to me all this time. Of course, yes, he's an actor. But nobody, no one, is able to fake a friendship for more than two years. At least not such a good friendship, we aren't just friends. We are -were best friends.

And I honestly don't know what kind of relationship we have, or had. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't just a friendship, it was more than that for both of us. I trusted him, he knows secrets of me that nobody else does. Such as I know secrets of him. Or was all of that also one gigantic lie? Was every secret he once told me, was it all made up? Was it?

But then again, there's no way that he faked all of this, it's not possible. I refuse to believe that. He wouldn't have any reason good enough to fake it all, right?

Theo keeps talking to Ruth, but I can't make out what he's telling her. I don't seem to be hearing his voice at all.

He told her, "You know all of this is just for the movies, Ruth." Was he being serious when he said that? Did he really mean it? Everything we did together through the years, was it all fake? The times he comforted me, wasn't that real? Did he just do that because he felt like he had to for the movies?

I feel something building up in my whole body, every part of me seems to be filled with anger.

Before I realise what I'm doing, I open the door. Tears are streaming down my face as Theo's head turns around immediately. "Shai," he starts with a confused look on his face, "what's wro--"

He doesn't finish his sentence when he notices that I'm not paying attention to him, not anymore anyways. Walking past him, I bring one of my arms towards my cheek, wiping away some of the tears with my hand. I honestly don't care if he sees that I'm hurt, he deserves to know that what he did was wrong in every way you can possibly imagine.

"Shai, are you crying?" I hear Theo asking behind me, his voice filled with worry.

I walk further towards the front door and quickly grab my black leather jacket. I turn around after putting on my grey sneakers. "Just that you know," I say, totally ignoring his question. I try to hold back my tears as I bite my lower lip, "I heard every part of that conversation."

His mood changes in less than three seconds. Instead of a confusing look, he now has a terrified one planted on his face. Bringing the black iPhone back to his ear he says, "Ruth I'll call you back in a few minutes, okay?" And without waiting for her answer or without hesitating he presses the end button. "Shai, it's not what you think. I did not want t--"

I interrupt him. I do certainly not want to hear another word from the boy who I once called my best friend. "In all honesty, I don't care what you're going to say, Theo. You already said enough."