Our choice

|chapter 16|

Our Choice

It is absolutely okay with me if you need to keep some secrets. I've been thinking about this and I decided that a best friend is someone who, when they don't understand, they still understand.

✿

"Hi Ruth," Theo says into his phone.

When hearing these two words leaving his mouth, I turn around immediately. I leave Theo to talk with his girlfriend, or at least she's supposed to be his girlfriend. I actually don't know if they broke up, but Theo seemed to be pretty hurt. Whatever they are to each other now, I leave them alone to talk.

The first plan I had in mind was to stay in my bedroom until Theo finished talking to Ruth, but when I close the door of my bedroom behind me I can still hear them talking. So plan B is to head over to the bathroom.

Closing the door behind me, I allow myself to lean against the wall, my eyes closed. And that's when I start to think about what just happened.

For one of the first times in all those years I've known Theo, I showed him how vulnerable I actually am. I allowed myself to cry and I allowed him to comfort me. This was the first time I cried and actually choose to cry in front of him, not because I couldn't hold back the tears.

I move my feet to where I can watch myself in the mirror, so when I look up a pair of puffy eyes are staring back at me. Usually my eyes don't get so red and puffy after crying for such a short time, but I think that the amount of times I've cried past days isn't normal either. I pull back a strand of hair and let out a deep sigh, I look absolutely horrible today.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not an ugly person. But I wouldn't call myself pretty either. I have nothing special, at least not something as special as Ruth has. She has this beautiful blonde hair, big eyes and basically everything a man could ask for. Comparing me to her is like comparing a mosquito to a butterfly. Almost everyone would go for the butterfly without hesitation. And that's exactly why Theo prefers Ruth above me, because I am nothing compared to her.

I don't think I can blame Theo for being in love with Ruth, can I?

My thoughts get distracted by the sound that comes from the living room, I can hear parts of Theo and Ruth's conversation. Without thinking about it, I walk out of the bathroom, into my bedroom as I listen to whatever they're saying to each other.

"Yes, I am with her!" Theo yells. "And you shouldn't care because it isn't any of your business where I am right now or what I am doing!"

Is he talking about me? Is he talking to Ruth, about me?

"No, Ruth! No, I don't care at all if you don't like that! You told me to leave, so I left!" The tone he says it with, tells me he's obviously annoyed with her. He yells at her in a way that every human could hear he's angry.

I feel my heart beating fast. Although I don't like the idea of Theo and Ruth having a relationship with each other, I don't like to hear them fighting either. I want Theo to be happy, even if it's not with me. If I had to choose between having him here, with me as a friend or not having him at all, I'd choose immediately for the first option. I'd rather have him as my best friend and seeing him being happy together with Ruth than not seeing him in my life at all. So if it's Theo's choice to be with Ruth, I respect that. No matter how much it hurts.

Theo's voice brings me back to reality, he sounds really annoyed. "Are you being serious right now, Ruth?"

I hear Ruth answering his question, but can't make out what she's telling him. Theo is too far away right now for me to be able to hear what Ruth is telling him.

"Stop it! Don't make all of this her fault, she has absolutely nothing to do with this," Theo tells her. At that I can't help but open the door a bit, so I can watch him as he talks to her.

Theo's eyes are bloodshot and a tear makes its way down his cheek. Seeing him standing there like that, all alone, I have to resist the urge to run over to Theo and hug him. The sight of Theo crying and not being able to comfort him is killing me.

I honestly don't know what their conversation is about, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with me. A thought flashes through my mind and I can't ignore it, don't want to. What if all of this is my fault? What if I did something that made Ruth jealous? Maybe I really am the reason they're fighting, maybe Ruth is right for once.

My heart skips a beat when Theo turns around. At first I'm pretty sure he sees me, because his eyes move to my direction. But I let out a deep breath as he starts talking again, not noticing me. "Stop, Ruth! Just stop it! Leave her out of this!" Theo yells and it even makes me slightly uncomfortable. I don't think I've ever seen him as frustrated as he is right now.

The fact that Theo seems to defend me against whatever Ruth is telling him, makes me love him even more, if that's possible. Each time he does those little things that make me fall in love with him over and over again, such as smiling his adorable smile or being concerned about everyone around him. I love how he grew up in a big family, almost always being surrounded by little kids. You don't have to pay attention to see how careful he acts when it comes down to children.

He's a true gentleman, a wonderful friend. I love him.

That is until I hear the next sentences coming out of his mouth, the mouth of the boy I thought was my best friend.

"No, of course I am not in love with Shailene! She's my co-star for gods sake! I did not choose to be her friend, I did not choose any of this! You know all of this is just for the movies, Ruth."

AN:
Hi everyone! I hope you're doing great and if something is wrong just remember you have people who love you and who care about you <3

Only 4 more exams to go and then I have summer break yass!

Lots of love <3