Purple Eyes - J.H

Chapter 33

Jaden pov

"Join me?" She asked as she grabbed onto my arm to stop me from leaving.

"Is that what you want?" I asked, making sure she wanted it to happen.

"I wouldn't have asked if i didn't want it silly." She said softly in the British accent that just makes my heart melt. I am putty in her hands and she is none the wiser to it. Before I could answer, she had pulled me closer to her, almost telling me to get in.

"Okay, okay. Calm down miss." I said as I sat in behind her.

My eyes were immediately drawn to the lion that covered her entire back. Everything was in black, grey or a shadowy blue. The only bit of colour was the eyes; a piercing yellow. I started to unconsciously trace the image on her skin. I watched as her shoulders dropped, almost the body's way of sighing. Relaxation.

"Who did it?" I asked as I stated at the mane of the animal.

"Huh?" She asked.

"Well, I know you're talented, but I don't think you are a contortionist, who did this tattoo?" I cleared.

"I don't know. This is one of the products of being passed out about a year ago. I had just woken up, and boom, I had ink forever implanted into me. That's why I have always had a love hate relationship with this tattoo. On the one hand I love it because it's fucking beautiful. But on the other hand, I hate how I got it, because I don't remember how I got it. I always wanted the tattoos I got to mean something, but I guess that's just another thing my father took away from me too early." She sighed as she started to move the water with her hands. She was sat between my legs now, with her back pressed to my chest.

"What about the others? Do they have a meaning?" I asked as I traced my hands over the barbed wire on her lower stomach. It looks to be the same as the one she put on my arm, I'm assuming it's her design since that was the only one I asked her to redo better for me.

"Yes they do. But they are all depressing and shit." She dismissed as she played with my fingers.

"Can you tell me about them?" I asked, squeezing her waist a little, to let her know she didn't have to if she didn't want to.

"I guess. The pendulum shows an image of an angel returning to the moon, something we had as a family when I was younger, also the reason I spoke to the moon when Sam died. When a person you love dies, they go to an icy heaven, to get there, they need to pass by the moon. But instead it's my guardian angel, returning to the moon and giving up on me. The dragon is really just because lots of people hate dragons because they are said to be monsters and evil creatures. I've always loved them, I've always found it interesting how every dragon alive would never have two things the same. Almost like people, no matter how hard you try, you will never find two people who are the exact same. The barbed wire is like a cage. It's also positioned in a place to show me what it has trapped, what I'll never have. It'll never get ruined or stretched out by a pregnancy and it just sits there to prove I'm right. The Roman numerals on both thighs are the years my grandparents are born and the years they died. They were the only ones that were ever truly accepting of me. I don't know if I've told you yet, but I'm a bisexual, *laughs lowly* just another reason for my dad to hate me like he does. Anyway, they were the only ones to ever fully accept my decision, and the Latin 'semper et amica mea in sempiternum' means 'always and forever my darling' which is something they both said to me on their deathbed. The lip tattoo was a symbol that shit happens and you need to just get on with it. I just got the dollar sign because I felt like it. And finally the stitching is there to show how broken and useless I am, if it wasn't there to constantly remind me it's the only thing holding me together, I would've been gone a long, long time ago." She chuckled.

This is one thing I will admit she does that annoys me. When she's talking about something sensitive, she will laugh to hide her emotions. I think it scares her to feel that vulnerable around people, especially when only a few have shown her that she won't be taken advantage of when that wall comes down. So now every time I knock down one wall, two more take its place. She is self destructive.

There's the final tattoo. I saw it earlier. It's stitching across the crease of her thighs. It flows all the way around her legs. It starts at the crease of her thigh, follows the shape just below her hip, so when she's wearing pants you can't see it. It then follows around and just her under her ass cheek, and the reconnects where it started. It's mirrored on her other thigh too.

"You aren't broken in anyway bub." I reassure her. She's always adamant that she is broken because of the shit she had been through. The way that I see it, she's the opposite of broken, she's being pulled apart, and every time she puts herself back together, she's getting stronger and weaker at the same time. "You are stronger than what you were." I nuzzle my head into her neck.

"But that's the thing. I was a child. I didn't need to be stronger, I needed to be safe. They took away my safety and so I had to learn to be stronger, it wasn't something I should have needed at the age I was. What eight year old should need to learn to sleep with their arms shielding their face and head? What eight year old should need to learn that a punch to the gut would leave them defenceless in a second? To make it worse, what eight year old should know how to block that kind of attack? Or what twelve year old should be taught what I was taught? Through my fathers actions alone it made me believe so many things about the processes my body goes through that were just so wrong. I didn't need that. This is the one thing I hate about being called strong, I didn't need it." She got really angry for a minute but immediately calmed herself down.

Another thing that is self destructive. She shuts down her anger and builds it up. This is why she has a criminal record. She builds up too much anger over time, and when it comes to the point where a stranger pushes her over the edge, she lets it all go. She has many assault charges on her name because of it. But from what I have learnt in the short time I've known her is that she won't let it out on the ones she protects; another reason she has assault charges, she's protective of people. Especially Kash.

"I know baby, I know. It sucks it really does." I should really stop talking, they way I'm talking diminishes her past. "I'm sorry, that came out sounding so degrading. I didn't mean it that way, I was just agreeing with you." I assure. She chuckled a little and runs her nails up my arm, making the hairs on it stand at attention.

"I know what you meant bub." She replies.

She stands up and gets out of the bath water that is now starting to cool down. She grabs a towel and throws one at me. I manage to catch it before it hits the water. She laughs as she walks out of the bathroom. I tie the towel around my waist and walk out to de ever already in MY hoodie and sweatpants while changing the sheets.

"You didn't have to do that." I said as I went I to my closet.

"Well I didn't really think that you'd want the cum to soak through to your mattress quite frankly." She laughed out as she threw the sheets at me.

I sighed as I collected them up and put them straight into the hamper. I'll have to remember to not let my mom collect my laundry and do it myself.

"Alright smart ass." I laughed.

"Arse. Smart ARSE." She corrected.

"Hunny, you need to speak English. It's ass." I mock knowing that will piss her off.

Suddenly I am tackled onto the bed and she lands on me. She moves so she straddling my stomach, but she leans forward so her face is in front of mine.

She goes to say something, but I quickly stop her by attaching my lips to hers. Her hands go to my jaw as she kisses me back. I swipe my tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance which she denies. I gently pull her bottom lip between my teeth, and she lets a tiny moan out, which allows me to snake my tongue into her mouth.

"Jaden?"