safe in your arms - hyunlix

8

⚠️angst & self harm/suicide attempt⚠️

[Felix's pov]

@chrisbanghere wants to be your friend!
| ———————— |
| Accept Decline |
| ———————— |

@chrisbanghere
Um hi Lix

Me
hi

@chrisbanghere
I think I should explain why I disappeared..

Me
u better do

@chrisbanghere
Well.. I was tired of living in Australia and wanted to explore another country soo...

Me
u could've at least told me that you were leaving

@chrisbanghere
I'm sorry Lix I didn't mean to hurt you.. I was so dumb..

Me
ye u were and still are

@chrisbanghere
Felix, that was years ago, you should've moved on a long time ago

Me
I know Chris, but I couldn't, because I liked you, no I loved you, I had a crush on you, but you just ran away without telling me. I was your "best friend". I was happy and then you just left. You were there for me when my brother couldn't, but you ruined it, and now I'm traumatized for the rest of my life. Because of my dad and his stupid friends. My brother came and saved me from almost dying. But you, you just left. Like I meant nothing to you. You know what, go fuck yourself Chris. I hate you.

@chrisbanghere is writing...

YOU BLOCKED @chrisbanghere

I threw my phone on my unmade bed and hurried to run out of my apartment.

The wind was freezing cold but I didn't care. I just needed to feel something. Something else than pain.

I came up with an idea. The beach.

I quickly went inside my house to put on my sneakers before heading out to the beach. I ran and ran, I ran as fast as I could. It felt as if my legs were going to fall off, but it didn't matter, I just needed to feel something else.

When I'd arrived to the sandy area I threw off my shoes and then ran into the sea.

The water was even colder than the wind which gave away a freezing yet comforting feeling that I wanted more of. Goosebumps started spreading on my neck.

Do it Felix.

We know you want it.

Do it Lix.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

I did it.

I took a deep breath before I dived into the freezing cold water. Head first. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to feel the euphoric feeling of pain mixed with pleasure. Coldness. It was cold. But I liked it. No. I loved it. I loved the pain. It made me forget the past.

I had no breath left. It felt like I had a (double) knot in my chest. But I kept going. I didn't want the pain to end. It felt so good. Way to good. I slowly felt my vision get dark and my lungs giving up.

But before I could completely loose my consciousness I felt my body being lift up and carried by someone. My vision was blurry but I could still see a little bit of the persons face.

It was a black haired guy.

Tall.

Hyunjin?..

-
sup y'all! happy easter. if you don't celebrate it happy school break! it feels so good to not have any tests or stressful weeks, homework or annoying classmates. and... more time to write fanfictions!!

+ I'm sorry bc chan is being the "bad guy" or something like that. I just had no inspiration so I just came up with something, sorry if I made u mad :(

have a great day and ily! <3