safe in your arms - hyunlix

25

⚠️demons/voices & panic attacks⚠️

[Felix's pov]

Voices. The voices.

Hyunjin is only doing this to gain your  trust.
He just want to get even more popular.
The same with his brother.
They don't care about you.
They aren't protecting you.
Stop pretending.

I couldn't take it anymore. The voices where too loud. I couldn't hear anything else than the voices. They yelled and screamed at me. My vision started getting blurry.

Jaehyun and Taeyong where watching tv while Hyunjin was showering. Since I didn't want to bother them, I didn't yell back at the voices, just sobbed quietly, holding my head in hope that the voices would stop.

My bed was ruffled by all my movements while trying it calm down the voices.

If you scream they won't care anyway.
They're used to it now.
They'll just pretend that you don't exist.
Stupid boy.
They won't help you.
Just kill yourself already.

It was hard to not listen to the voices. They just went rougher and rougher with the words. This was the first time they told me to kill myself. It hadn't happen before. My eyes was watering and soon I burst into fat tears. You could probably hear my sobs even from Japan. Why couldn't I just shut up? No ones is going to care anyway.

I was wrong.

[Hyunjin's pov]

I had just come out of the showering, drying my hair and applying lotion on my face, when I heard quiet sobs coming from Felix's room. I soon realized what was happening. He was having a panic attack.

I quickly ran up to his door and roughly pulled up the door.

There the small boy sat like a ball, holding his ears and quietly whimpering while whispering words like "please stop"  and "stop talking".

I quickly ran up to him, still in just my towel. I took the boy in my arms and whispered sweet words to his, trying to calm him down. He accepted the hug and belt way too tightly into my body, like I would disappear at any second.
"I'm here Felix, it's okay." I whispered against his shoulder as I stroke his hair.

The sobs went quieter and quieter until they disappeared fully and turned into soft snores. I gently let go of the hug and took a look at the sleeping boy's face.

His big and pretty eyes where closed, making his long black eyelashes show off. His cheeks where stained with tears that I softly wiped them. The angel's face where covered in light brown freckles, looking like shining stars who created constellations from the night sky. He looked so adorable and beautiful, I really needed to protect this boy from everything and anything.

Especially the voices.

-
It's 11 pm and it's raining outside, which is really calming. I was bored asf today so I started painting with watercolor and it turned out bad lol. Bye hope you'll have a great day and take care of yourself and your loved ones. <3