safe in your arms - hyunlix

1

⚠️self harm & abuse⚠️

[2 years ago]

There he sat. Him and his brother Taeyong, inside the bus on their way to their new home. In Seoul. In South Korea. They moved all the way from Sydney in Australia. He couldn't even speak korean. He was 100% korean but that didn't mean that he could speak his original language correctly, right?

Felix and his brother moved to Korea because of their broken family. Their mom killed herself when she found out that their dad cheated on her, so she took an overdose and lost her life. Taeyongs and Felix's lives where already shitty at the age of 12 and 8. It was hard for them both, but mostly for Felix. He loved his mom too much, but not his dad.

He was an alcoholic and drug addict who used to hit his children when drunk and could do way worse things to them than that. Their mom protected them from the monster they had as dad. But when she died everything just got worse. The brothers got hit everyday and when Taeyong finally moved out at the age of 16, everything went downhill for his younger brother.

Felix got abused and hit every single day. He got sexually assaulted by his father and his friends. They used him as a toy. Every single day he had a weak and bruised body. Getting bullied in the school he went to, they said that his freckles where ugly and his face locked fucked up, that he was skinny as a stick. They said he didn't deserve love or happiness. And he believed it. He believed everything they said to him.

[3 years ago]

Felix went inside his bathroom. It was messy and dirty, it hadn't been cleaned in months. He looked at the reflection in the broken mirror. There stood a shaking guy with dark bags under his eyes, cheeks painted with freckles, bruises on his collarbones and a trembling body. He felt like shit. It hurt and he wanted the pain to go away. His hand slowly made its way to the razor blade on the sink. The broken lamp weakly lit up the room and made the sharp object shine, like it was meant for him to take it in his shaky hands.

He took a hard grip at the sharp object and made it it's way to his left arm. He shifted his arm so his wrist was shown, moved the razor blade to the wrist and dragged it over the milky white skin. A line of red liquid ran down his arm. It hurt. But it hurt so good. It felt good. He rested his back against the wall and listened to the music playing in his headphones. Wet tears ran down his dirty cheeks. His eyes were red and puffy from the liquid coming out of his eyes. The tears ran down to his mouth, creating a salty taste.

Good boy.
You've listened to us.
You deserved it.
But they still hate you.
Now the other arm, come on don't be shy.

The voices kept on talking and talking inside his head. He wanted them to stop. So he screamed out.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" He cried with all the energy he had left. Suddenly the door was roughly opened. Behind the door revealed a dark haired guy. As soon as he saw the blood on the Aussie's arm his eyes went wide. He ran up to his younger brother and hugged him. Tight but not so it would hurt him.
"Oh god Felix why did you do this to yourself!?" His brother asked with tears forming in his eyes. The smaller boy went quiet. He didn't say a word.
"Are you okay?" Taeyong said as he'd calmed down a bit. Felix just sat there. The tears that some minutes ago ran down his cheeks where now dried like a coat over his rosy cheeks. The older boy stroked his hand over Felix chin, touching his freckles. The boy melted into the touch.
"Lix... Don't ever do this again." The dark haired boy said in a soft way. Felix just nodded and gave Taeyong a warm hug that he happily accepted.
"Take care little bro." He finally said as they let go from the hug. Felix was still quiet.

-
first chapter here y'all. promise me to take care of yourselves and at least try to love yourself, I can't even love my self but you try.
whatever happens, don't hurt yourself, yeah?
cya!
<3