Alice in Borderland

Chapter 34 - One last conversation

It's late afternoon and I'm in my room with Norikita. I sit on my bed and watch her go through my records. She's playing tonight, so I decided to take time for her. It will certainly do her good and maybe let her come down a little bit. She needs all her nerves in the games.

"What was there in the canteen today?" I ask her, to distract her a little.

"A rice dish with peppers and chicken. You should definitely get a plate later, this cook is really good!"

"Will be done," I laugh approvingly, but I notice her hand shaking slightly. She's excited, you can see that in her eyes. She has to calm down until she leaves.

"I spoke to Niragi this morning. On the next supply tour he brings you a certain record, I asked him to do it," she laughs and puts on one of the records. She sits down with me on the bed and puts on an honest smile. I nod thankfully to her and wonder what song she was thinking of.

"Sayuuri?"

"Mhm?"

"Are you happy here?"

"What do you mean Norikita?"

"Well, you seem more balanced here. I don't mean in the beach, but here in borderland"

"I don't know," I say honestly, thinking. How can you be happier here, I mean the games and the many deaths. But since I've been here, I've been acting differently and thinking I've noticed that too. You don't have to think obsessively about the future, you live in here and now to survive.

"You can't fool me, we've known each other for three years. You don't have the pressure of university here, your family isn't there..."

"I love my family!"

"I know Sayuuri. But you can't deny that you've aligned your life with them. Here you can be what or who you want"

"Maybe"

A short, unpleasant silence arises between us and I begin to play with my black rubber ball.

"Well, what about Chishiya?"

Confused, I look at her and put my head slightly crooked, because I don't know exactly what she means. She just twists her eyes and laughs briefly.

"Please Sayuuri. I know I'm not as smart as you, but I have a sense of something like that. You look at him the way you used to look at Light"

"That's not true," I protest. Do I really look at him like that? No impossible, I would have noticed.

"Then you don't mind if I find him sweet?"

I suddenly look up and look at her inquiringly. I mean the two never said a word to each other, how can she find him sweet? Or maybe they've talked to each other and I just don't know about it. She starts laughing loudly and reaches for my arm, but I only look at her penetratingly.

"Sayuuri, that was a joke. But I know you, without that you would never have reacted like that"

It was a trick and I didn't get behind it. But more importantly, why do I suddenly feel so relieved? This time she looks at me knowingly, which makes me even more confused. Did she know something I didn't notice?

"You're obviously a damn good player," she laughs, before her face takes on a nostalgic expression, "But for me, you remain the little, loving cheerleader who helped me through my high school graduation exams."

"And you always remain the friend who always comforted me and kept me from doubting myself," I laugh and hold back my tears.

"Sayuuri, I want to go back," she says with a quiet, brittle voice and a pleading gaze. Tears flow across her cheeks and I lean forward to take her in her arms. Life was perfect for them, borderland is not a place for them. My gaze glides on the clock and I realize that it is time for them. I push her closer to me for a moment before I get away from her and wipe away the tears in her face.

"Love you, little one," she says, and I try to pull myself together.

"I love you too"

We get up and I accompany them downstairs. The hatmaker tells the usual, but I don't listen and just hold her hand. When the speech is over, I accompany her outside and watch Niragi stop her car door and enter her.

I just sat down on the stairs in front of the hotel and waited. I play with my grandmother's bracelet as the darkness spreads and only the moon is visible in the sky. Gradually the players come back and I get more and more impatient. I don't know how long I'm sitting here on the cold stone stairs, but at some point a car drives ahead, with Niragi at the wheel.

He gets out and trains his rifle, but when he sees me, he stops and his confident smile flattens. He just shakes his head and I know immediately what it means. After all, that is precisely why I am waiting for these steps. Norikita died in the game.