Alice in Borderland

Chapter 110

My eyes gaze intently at the cool metal in my sweaty palm and I am so focussed on the intricacies of the surface that my surroundings fade out and all I can hear is my heavy, regular breathing. I gently turn the plate of the dog tag to the side to make effective use of the light coming in through the window, so that I can see not only the fine engraving, but also other indentations and scratches from this angle.

My first instinctive impulse was that this necklace must be from Light. Outwardly I could control myself and appear calm, but inwardly I began to tremble and lose my temper in the company of all these excellent and deadly players. It took me a moment to remember that emotionality and rationality usually bring two different mindsets and outcomes. Emotionally, there is no doubt that this chain is that of someone I was close to before Borderland. How would I have reacted if I had stayed with this thought, how do you react when a person sitting defenceless in front of you has killed a person you had a crush on?

Rationally, however, it's just an unlikely theory:

Let's briefly address one point in my train of thought and then immediately disregard and discard it: The probability of ending up in Borderland is unpredictable. Factors such as the general population in this country, causes of player selection and all the processes in this parallel Tokyo are unknown and can only be estimated. If I assume that I have met two people in my time here - Norikita and my uncle - this estimation variable tends to be very low. But what are the odds that Light, of all people, ends up in Borderland and his necklace ends up as a trophy of a heinous act in time in this hotel after I've only recently become a part of the leadership team.

There are other reasons why I question my first impulse. Although I have been staying in the Beach for most of my stay at Borderland, I plan to get out of here soon. I'm not only leaving behind the bad things like the pile of bodies in the containers behind the hotel or the increasing violence, but also people who have grown close to my heart. The truth is, without this community in the hotel, I would never have made it this far.
It's quite possible that I'm not ready to leave yet and am just looking for a reason to stay here a little longer and this chain gives me a chance.

I have also been travelling in this parallel shadowland for a long time. The memories of my past life, my family and my friends, are receding day by day and fading into a section of my life. After various traumatic and head-scratching events in Borderland, it may well be that my mind is playing tricks on me with the reference to my past life. The human brain is designed to switch on protective mechanisms in an emergency without us realising it.

In my internships at the district court, I have seen cases in which people have developed a second personality as a result of previous traumatic experiences, which protected the main person and emerged in dangerous situations without them being aware of it. There have also been cases where witnesses have blacked out because their brain wouldn't let them process what they actually saw because they couldn't cope with it. The brain is an interesting mechanism and I can't rule out that it doesn't affect anyone.

Sure, some of these players and Borderlands residents were already burdened before, but for some it triggered something. And I don't think I'm an exception, which is why I take this into account. I should keep quiet until I'm really sure and convinced.

I let the chain slide back onto the table with the various weapons and trophies as I put on a neutral face and nod up at Ann.

'Charming guests we have here, aren't they?' she says with a stern sideways glance at nothing and adjusts her black sunglasses. I just give her a tired, sarcastic sideways glance and turn to the members of the management team as I lean backwards on the table. Some sit alone and enjoy the peace and quiet, while others chat quietly amongst themselves. Despite being among these top predators, we have a moment to ourselves and it seems to bring me down. This term comes to mind spontaneously and I pause. Yes, these people in the room are the top predators among the Beach players, that's why they're here. I'm only in an advisory role and don't count myself among them, until it occurs to me that Chishiya held this position before me. I must have impressed these people, but I would never see myself on the same level as them.

'What, found the man of your dreams already?' I return with a playful smile and grin up to my ears. Although the forensic scientist seems to respond at first by twitching the corner of her mouth, mine quickly darkens.