Alice in Borderland

Chapter 112

Behind the other members of the management team, I leave the conference room with ambling steps and thoughtfully lower my gaze to the carpeted hotel corridor floor. I have to think of something to switch off and suppress my concerns about Light. The moment I saw the necklace, it took over my focus, and even though I've pulled myself together because of my job in the management team and countless other questions in my head, my thoughts creep back to the young man. And distraction is the last thing I need now that the time has come to leave the beach.

Nervously, I stretch my sweaty hands so that the bones of my fingers begin to crack softly with the movement and I chew gently on my lower lip to calm my shaky breathing. I am now an official heart player in the leadership team, I have to calm down and not let any emotions show in relation to the prisoners. On the one hand, it would make me weak and not worthy of the position of counsellor, on the other hand, they might exclude me from this important decision and doubt my objective abilities.

My right hand brushes against the feathery fabric of my cheerleading uniform, tangling slightly as I try to catch my breath and calm my nerves.

'I always thought that heart players were better at hiding their emotions and thoughts,' I hear a slightly patronising voice from the side and I slow my steps as I spot the man in the white waistcoat leaning against a small alcove.

This small feature in the walls must have been used as a shelf or decoration back then, perhaps a statue or large houseplant had been placed here, which must now serve a different purpose. Perhaps it was brought into the milliner's room back then.

'Heart players know when to be focussed in the games. I haven't seen a laser barrier anywhere here, so you can't afford to comment,' I say cheekily to distract him from my nervous tics.

He looks sideways at me with a cool gaze, arms crossed, as an amused grin briefly flits across his lips. I look around and see that the other members of the leadership team are leaving and dispersing. Some disappear towards the corridor of our sheltered hotel rooms and others walk towards the entrance area, heading for the pool area or the restaurant. Sighing, I stop, assuming that no one will overhear our conversation and that this was the intention of the man in the white waistcoat.

'What do you want, Chishiya?' I approach with restrained steps. We haven't been alone since our conversation last night and I take a cautious approach to the situation. It's not as if things are unspoken between us, on the contrary. I think everything about his past is out in the open, it's just dealing with it that's difficult. It's strangely ridiculous: I've never really believed that Chishiya Shuntaro practices medicine because he's selfless. And now my superficial assumption is coming true and I'm disappointed?

'Even a blind man can recognise your nervous tic with your lower lip. Wonder what's got you upset, but it's something to do with the prisoner, huh?' he says casually and hits the mark, which is why I avoid his gaze thoughtfully. I have no experience of the kind of relationship we have, so I don't know much about it, but with such tension in the air, talking about a boy from my past for whom I harboured childish romantic feelings is probably more of a critical topic of conversation. Especially since it feels wrong to share my concerns with Chishiya if something really happened to Light. It's better if I handle this on my own and deal with it. 'Is it because you don't know which option you're going to vote for in the election?'

'I don't know what I'm going to vote for yet, that's right,' I nod, smiling at myself that this circumstance isn't even causing me any trouble at the moment, even though the death penalty is fighting against my moral compass. 'But it isn't. I need to find out something from a prisoner, I just haven't figured out the best way to go about it.'

'You probably don't want my help. But I could think out loud for once about what I would do most skilfully if I were you,' Chishiya offers, and I have to smile slightly, because he seems to understand that my indirect answer is something he has to accept and not get more out of me voluntarily. To be on the safe side, he doesn't seem to tease the answer out of me with one of his manipulative subtleties so as not to provoke me unnecessarily and let this discomfort between us degenerate. Nevertheless, he watches my reactions closely as he leans his head back against the wall. His pitch-black eyes scrutinise the high hotel ceiling and he acts as if he really needs to get the wheels turning in his head. I look at him critically yet curiously as his eyes - while he still has one head leaning slightly backwards - dart towards me and a slightly amused twitch of the corner of his mouth can be seen. 'Not a sermon, just a tip, I promise.'