Shrek the Third (finale) (Aranea2020 Version)

Chapter 14

Moments later into the forest, Artie marched up the mountain trail. Shrek thought for a moment and then tried a different tactic with the kid. He caught up to Artie.

" Listen Artie..." Shrek managed to say which caused the boy to look back over his shoulder. He saw Shrek and just kept going.

" If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever, but what I'm saying is, yo, check out this kazing thazing bazaby." Shrek tried to talk cool. The four animals glanced at each other.

" Kazing thazing bazaby?" Kobe whispered with a raised eyebrow. The males just shrugged their shoulders.

Artie noticed a cottage in the distance and headed towards it.

" I mean, if it doesn't groove or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', just say, oh no you didn't, you know, you're gettin' on my last nerve. And then I'll know it's... then I'll know it's..." Shrek got cut off by Artie nonchalantly releasing the ranch of a tree, striking Shrek square in the face and took off running.

Kobe and Max huffed at the teenager while helping Shrek get back up.

At a camp, A boiling soup pot sat over a fire in front of a small shack. Artie pounded desperately at the door.

" SOMEBODY HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A MONSTER TRYING TO RELATE TO ME!" Arthur shouted in fright which caused Kobe and Max to roll their eyes in annoyance.

" What a moron!" Kobe thought to herself in anger with the way Artie was acting.

" Artie! Wait!" Shrek yelled out to him.

The gang ran into the camp towards the teenage boy.

" C'mon! C'mon! Help! Help! Hello?" Artie desperately yelled out waiting for an answer. Suddenly, a burst of light shot through a candle that is hung on the door. A bright, colorful image of an old wizard's head was projected out.

Donkey got terrified and let out a loud scream which caused Max to glare at him.

" Greetings cosmic children of the universe, and welcome to my serenity circle!" The Wizard head said. Shrek just watched while Kobe looked at the head with cute eyes.

" Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. And now prepare..." The Wizard head said with a " FZZZZT" and a " BLOOP" sound before the image disappeared. Kobe looked in amazement.

Just like that, after hearing the head mention something about bad vibes, he seemed to remind her of someone she and Max knew a long time ago.

The door opened revealing to be tiny old man coming out.

" I knew I should've gotten that warranty!" The wizard reminded himself before smashing the security device with his little fist and was promptly zapped in the head.

Kobe looked at the old man feeling bad for him since he got hurt.

" Mr Merlin?" Artie asked the old man who was now known as Mr Merlin.

" You know this guy?" Shrek asked the boy.

" Yeah. He was the school's magic teacher until he had his nervous breakdown." Artie explained to Shrek.

" Poor guy." Kobe thought to herself sadly as she felt bad for the wizard.

" Uh, technically I was merely a victim of a level three fatigue, and at the request of my therapist and the school authorities, I have retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose." Mr Merlin explained before smacking a fly that was landed on his hand. Shrek and Artie stared in astonishment.

" Now, can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage?" Mr Merlin asked politely.

" That's okay. I actually bought some food to eat with in case I get hungry which I am now." Kobe told the old man.

" Uh, no." Shrek told him as well. Merlin offered up a baking dish full of rocks. Kobe and Max looked at the wizard and the dish of rocks weirded out while eating their own snacks. Why would he offer Shrek a dish of rocks for a snack?

" Sure you don't wanna try my famous rock au-gratin?" Merlin asked Shrek offering the rocks. He took a bite and chewed loudly. Kobe and Max felt like throwing up when they saw that gums were bleeding from eating rocks.

" That's gotta hurt man!" Kobe thought to herself while cringing at the wizard at the same time.

" It's organic!" Merlin told the ogre.

Shrek and Arthur both started at him uncomfortably.

" Oh thanks, I just ate a boulder on the way in. What we need are directions back to Far Far Away." Shrek told the wizard.

" What's with the ' we'? Who said I was going with you?" Artie asked the ogre with an attitude. Oh boy, another fight coming.

" Oh, I did. Cause there's a lot of people counting on you so don't try to weasel out of this." Shrek told Artie.

" If it's such a great job, why don't you do it?" Artie argued.

Kobe and Max's eyes widened when he asked that.

" Understand this kid, it's no more Mr. Nice Guy from here an out." Shrek said.

" Oh, so that was your ' Mr. Nice Guy?'" Artie asked arguing with Shrek.

" I know. And I'm gonna miss him." Shrek said sarcastically. Kobe just facepalmed at the two arguing again.

" You know what? Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone?" Artie roasted Shrek while arguing with him.

" Oh, is that some kind of crack about ogres? You get your royal highness back to Far Far Away before I kick it there." Shrek told Artie as he was fed up with his attitude.

" Now which way am I kicking?" Shrek asked Merlin.

" Oh, I could tell you. But since you're in the midst of self-destructive rage spiral it would be karmic-ly irresponsible." Merlin told the ogre.

Shrek was confused of the term " Self-destructive rage."

" Look, are you gonna help us or not?" Shrek asked the wizard in annoyance.

" Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul." Merlin told the ogre.

" Journey to his soul?" Kobe asked Merlin with a raised eyebrow.

" Yes." Merlin corrected the female cat.

" Yeah, I don't think so." Shrek refused.

" Look pal, it's either that or some primal scream therapy." The old man warned the ogre before letting out a loud scream. Kobe and Max covered their ears but then opened them when Shrek grabbed his mouth and closed it.

" Alright, alright... journey to the soul." Shrek sighed while Kobe clapped her hands with puppy eyes and a wide grin on her face. She seemed pretty interested.