I don't wanna be your friend

Chapter 17

Firstly, thank you all so much for 2k+ views, I can't thank you guys enough.

And secondly, I don't know why it took me so long to update, I've just become so lazy these days.

Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy reading this chapter ☺️
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A dormant part of Cedric that had always tried to nudge him past his boundaries of insecurities was trying to speak to him in his head. It was a reassuring voice that was encouraging him to unveil, if not all, a tiny portion of what he was thinking and feeling. But like all the other times, his insecurities got the best out of him and he snuffed that voice as he continued to maintain eye contact with Damien, whose eyes seemed to be a dark abyss of determination.

Determination, that one intent behind Damien's eyes was the reason why Cedric kept questioning all of the day's events to find the right perspective of what was happening between them. And that was the same reason why he turned his head to the opposite side to sever that eye contact before his eyes convey the words his brain won't let out of his mouth.

There was no evident presence of any desire or yearning in Damien's gaze, but those were the feelings that Cedric felt as though were cutting through his skin to either lodge deep within him or to break out of their restraints and express themselves. It was challenging not to feel defeated at the idea of him being just some sort of project or some sort of rescue mission to Damien because his conscience wasn't okay with him not looking out for Cedric— which Damien had said it himself on multiple occasions.

In the end, Cedric couldn't help but feel like he was a burdensome weight on Damien's shoulders, because if it wasn't for checking on him, Damien wouldn't have gone through all the effort.

And Cedric felt guilty for the effort Damien had to put in for him, was putting in for him.

If Cedric can't bear his own weight, how can somebody else? Why should somebody else?

Cedric shouldn't put all of this on Damien.

"Don't you know what a burden your presence is to them? Because you can't spend a single minute without shutting your mouth."

Cedric drew in a lungful of air and shut his eyes for an instant when that familiar voice rang in his head. And as messed up as it was, those words felt right as that was something Cedric had been fed, and his brain had thoroughly digested it— and now, thinking anything other alternative to be true was like swimming against the flow of a stream. He inhaled a few more deep breaths to control the flow of his thoughts from entering into that forbidden grounds and forced himself to snap out of it into the present.

It has been a few moments since Cedric had been immersed into his over analysing mode, whereas Damien was looking at him curiously and was patiently waiting for his answer. Looking back at him, Cedric chose the route his brain had concluded was right over the route his heart wanted to chase.

"I'll drive you back home", he said, but even he could see that though he tried, his voice lacked the weight it should have to convey the meaning with it.

Damien vigorously shook his head like a child and scowled at Cedric, seemingly unaware of Cedric internal battle over the different voices in his head.

"We are not going back home. I don't want to leave yet."

"They leave because they don't want you. Can't you see that?"

That voice from his past interrupted his thoughts again, and Cedric wanted to cave into it out of habit, but it was again that determination in Damien's tone that was making it difficult for Cedric to do so. It was becoming clear that Damien wouldn't back off until he got his way through the situation. It was just bits of Cedric's sanity that were able to grasp the fact that fighting Damien was a waste of his energy. He tried to ignore the fluctuations in his thoughts and emotions.