I don't wanna be your friend

Chapter 25

Cedric had soon come to know that once the doors to sexual explorations were opened, there was no going back. He didn't know where all this need had been hiding within him for so long, but now Cedric felt like he was replacing one addiction with another, and like all addictions, this too felt euphoric even with the trails of deadliness that followed it.

But amongst all of that, Cedric had failed to be prepared for the real heartstopper— romance.
Cedric had never romanticized his life and for sure had never been romanced by anybody. But Damien? He was the exact opposite.

On the rare occasions when Cedric had wistful thoughts of them being together, he could've never imagined the changes it would bring in his life.
Cedric's favorite part about being with Damien was getting to know his thoughts and the depth of them. As Cedric observed the world through Damien's lens, he saw that even the most mundane things could be felt and described as something special— like, if you'd ask Damien why lavender was his favorite color? He'd say, "because it's soft to the eyes, and it feels like a good dream that I can't remember."

And that was changing how Cedric saw himself, too, because having not much interest in himself, Cedric had grown to be someone rather plain, but Damien disagreed, and he showed that through all of his actions.

Now, whenever he could find some time during Cedric's shifts in the boba café, Damien would come to visit and stay till his shift ended. He often ordered something and sat in a far corner doing his homework or just reading the random magazines or newspapers available on every table. Cedric worried he would eventually get bored and stop coming, but Damien just said, "I like watching you work because you always seem happy and satisfied here. If it bothers you, I'll stop coming."

No, it didn't bother Cedric at all, and it was hard to describe the contentment he felt in knowing that Damien knew how much he loved working here— he realized he never got to share that feeling with anyone before. And as soon as his shift was done, Damien always had plans for them.
They never called them 'dates,' but that's what they were. And all of these dates were so thoughtfully planned that they overwhelmed Cedric with how much they made him feel so important, like he was worth somebody's time.

Having lived all of his life in California, Cedric had never experienced snow, so one weekend, Damien suggested that they go to a snow park— Cedric wondered why he had never thought of that all these years, but it all felt worth it when it was with Damien. Perhaps the most thoughtful of all things was how Damien bought aquarium plants for Cedric's goldfishes at least twice a week. It was these small, lovely gestures that intensified his feelings for Damien more and more until he couldn't hold back and poured it all into a kiss.

Their kisses, which usually started soft and innocent, soon turned passionate and heated with the more time they spent getting to know each other— it seemed like Cedric would never get enough of them. To Cedric's surprise, they had both got comfortable very quickly with being in constant physical contact, like holding hands or leaning into each other— which, again, started transforming into something more.

They hadn't gotten as far as 15 minutes into the drive-in movie without being all over each other, and the rest of the movie wasn't even an afterthought in their make-out session. Cedric had kissed very few people in his life, but none of his previous experiences had ever felt this way— had never felt like they were pumping him with so much life— and he was being honest when he said if that's all Damien could give, then he'd be happy with no complaints. 

To which Damien said, "don't question yourself every time we are together, let's just go with the flow. If I'm not comfortable or ready for anything, I'll tell you, and I know you'll stop."

So they went with the flow, and one make-out session in his room had got particularly intense where Cedric got them both off with his hands. It was so different from touching himself, and the satisfaction it bought was also a million times better than when he did it alone. But they didn't go that far frequently, which made it all the more special.