How Wroetoshaw Changed My Life {Sidemen FF}

Chapter Eighteen // Drugs Drink & Fighting

{ Lottie's POV }

I'm allowed to go home today, I got lucky I guess. I could be dead by now, that sounds bad however it is very true.

"You okay?" Britney Ethan's girlfriend asked walking into the room with Rebekah. It's weird we've never really bonded.

"Not really, I am starting to feel a little better but not much." I told her. I've been thinking a lot lately, a lot about the past and how I could of made my childhood a lot better.

"Well at least you can have Si and the rest of us looking after you instead of the nurses." She smiled. I nodded raising my eyebrows.

"The nurse said you have to stay here for another couple of hours until, you've had all of the checks." Rebekah smiled at me, I smiled back it felt weird. I never see Britney unless she is with Ethan - I don't see Ethan, so why is she here?

"I'm gonna go get coffee then." Britney grunted walking out of the room. I gave Rebekah a look, she knew what I was thinking - so she laughed.

"Life is way too short." I blurted out. That's mostly what I've been thinking about. How I could make things with in my life a lot more exciting, and not take life to seriously.

"What makes you say that?" She asked looking down at the floor, I think she knows what I was talking about though.

"We've both been through a lot, a lot of shit" I put bluntly. Rebekah nodded agreeing with me, she started to fiddle with a piece of paper she had grasped in her hand.

"Are you talking about everything we done?" She asked looking around. I nodded answering her question.

"Yeah." I said she looked at me wanting me to elaborate. "If we didn't do half of the shit we done, our lives back then, and now would probably be so different." I told her.

"I know but we wouldn't of found Callum and Simon if we didn't." She said adding a positive outlook on the situation.

"I guess but if we didn't do that we would be able to get a decent job." I said always raising the negative points. She just twisted her lips, I knew she agreed with me.

"They know what we done don't they?" Rebekah asked, I shook my head for a moment.

"They know that I done it. I didn't tell them about you seeming as I didn't feel you would want them to know." I said kindly. Sometimes I do think before I speak.

"Half the things we done I look back on and I'm actually ashamed of myself." She told me putting her head in her hands. I nodded, I know I do that too I look back at things and wished I never done it - ever.

"Why did we get into drugs?" I shook my head thinking back at the old me, I don't understand why I would be stupid enough to do something like that.

"I don't know, it's not like we done it occasionally was it?" Rebekah sighed. Yeah, it got that back we would do it in the morning at night, during in the day - it got bad.

"No, how we had to be split up to stop was bad too." I twisted my lips looking at another part of the room.

"I felt bad you know?" Rebekah admitted. I raised my eyebrow. "You got out on foster care because of me." She said putting her head in he hands. It wasn't strictly true we both got me taken away.

"I didn't have to do it, I didn't have to get high each night or drunk and piss my mum off did I?" I shrugged. I tried contacting my mum but she didn't wanna know - I don't care I lived without her, I did apologise to her though.

"Have you ever been in contact with your mum since we got taken away?" Rebekah asked looking at me. I shook my head that made her feel twice as worse - I didn't want it too but I wasn't going to lie.