{Billie Joe Armstrong} - Sex And Drugs And Rock'n'Roll

Chapter 41: Feeling Numb

"You'd never believe what was playing on the radio after the funeral." I said to Mike.

"What?" he asked.

"Holiday.".

"Really?".

"Yeah," I sighed. "It was hard to listen to.".

"Oh, you actually listened? You didn't switch to another station?".

"No, I listened to the whole thing.". I sighed through my nose, thinking about the way Billie had looked in the coffin. That was the last time I ever saw him. "I miss Billie." I said.

"I know. So do I." Mike replied, putting his arm around me. I scooted closer to him.

"I have no reason to live anymore. The fanbase fucking hates me, and Billie's gone forever.".

"But Liz, you have to live for yourself now.".

"Why the hell would I do that?".

"Because, you... I don't know. Just because.".

"Mike, give me one good reason to live." I said, turning a bit. I felt like maybe we were too close, but I didn't care.

"Because you matter.".

"Do I really?".

"Of course you do! You're 22-".

"23 now.".

"Okay, 23, and you've got a lot of life left.".

"I don't see any point in living it without Billie.".

"I know that you loved Billie a lot." Mike told me. "But, he's dead now. I miss him too, but, Liz, there's nothing anyone can do. Sadly, we just have to accept it.".

"I know." I sighed.

"You might even fall in love with someone else. I know it might sound crazy now, but-".

"I think I'm falling in love.".

"Oh? With who?" Mike asked.

I looked down at the floor. I felt my cheeks getting hot. "I... I can't tell you.".

"Oh.".

"Sorry.".

"No, it's okay.".

I sighed and looked at him again. His arm was still around my shoulder. "Thanks for being here." I said, and put my arms around him.

"No problem." he said, hugging me tight. I just stayed in his arms for a few moments, enjoying him.

He let go of me and I stood up.

"Maybe we should go to bed." I told him.

"Alright, Liz. Whatever you want.".

He followed me up the stairs to the bedroom. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, got into my nightgown, and took off my badly smudged makeup.

I opened the door, then went and turned off the light and got into bed.

"You know what, Liz? You did a good job getting through today." he told me.

"Thanks.".

He grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. I scooted closer to him, and closer, until my hip was against him.

"You need more room?" he asked me.

"No, I'm okay.". I sighed. "I told you that I was falling in love, didn't I?".

"Yeah, you did.".

"Well, I'm kind of in love with you.".

There was awkward silence between us. I put my hands on my stomach, and I was so thin now that I could feel my ribs.