{Billie Joe Armstrong} - Sex And Drugs And Rock'n'Roll

Chapter 31: Low

It was Saturday afternoon. Billie was at an interview, and I was alone, watching The Simpsons.

The phone rang, so I paused the TV and went into the kitchen.

"Hello?" I asked, picking up the phone.

"Hi Lizzy. It's Tre.".

"Oh, hi Tre. What's up?".

"Well," Tre said. "I know that Billie's birthday isn't for over a month, but I was thinking that we should have a party for him. And... since it's probably going to be... his last birthday ever, we've got to make it a good one.".

I stayed silent for a moment, thinking about what Tre had just said. It was going to be Billie's last birthday, and that hurt my heart so much.

"Alright. That's a good idea. Did you talk to Mike about it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I did, and he's also down for it." Tre told me.

"Great.".

"And we can't tell Billie. It's going to be a surprise party.".

"Oh, even better.".

"He's at that interview right now, isn't he?".

"Yeah, he is.".

"Alright, good.".

"So how are we going to make it the best birthday ever?" I asked, leaning against the kitchen doorway.

"Well, I have a couple ideas." Tre replied.

***

I sat in the studio, playing Wake Me Up When September Ends on one of Billie's acoustic guitars.

I guess that he must've heard me because he came in and sat down on a chair beside me.

I stopped playing.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked. "That sounded good.".

I looked at him, then sighed and looked at the floor. I knew that we didn't have much time left together. It was already the beginning of February.

"Liz?" Billie asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him. He grabbed my hand, then kissed it.

"I don't want you to go." I said, almost whispering.

"I don't want to go either." he sighed, letting go of my hand. "But that's the way it is.".

I looked into his eyes and saw fire dancing in his pupils, like on our wedding day when we had said our vows. But it was a different kind of fire.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Billie." I told him, my eyes becoming wet. "You have no idea.".

"I'm sorry, babe." he said.

"It's not your fault.".

"I know. But I still feel bad.".

"We only got four and a half years together. I wish we could have gotten more.".

"Me too.".

"It shouldn't be this way.".

"You're right. It really shouldn't.".

I set the guitar down on a stand and sat on Billie's lap.

"I love you." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you.".

He held me close to him. "I love you, too." he replied.

I kissed his cheek. "Thank you for being such a great husband.".

"Aww, I try my best.". He wiped my eyes with his thumbs.

"And thank you for that." I said, holding his wrists. I leaned in and kissed him. I let go of his wrists and put my hands on his shoulders. "I love you.".

"I love you, too, babe.".

"Billie, how am I gonna survive without you?" I asked, suddenly panicking.

He stared into my eyes and tucked my hair behind my ears. "You will. You're strong." he told me.

"No, Billie, I won't! I can't!".

"Oh, babe." he sighed, grabbing my hands. "Look, I know it's hard to turn the page when you know someone won't be in the next chapter, but the story must go on.".

***

I laid in bed and held me and Billie's wedding picture in my hands. We looked so happy. His black hair was extra fluffy and he was wearing eyeliner. My hair was wavy and the dress I had worn that day really suited me.

I could hear the shower running in the bathroom. Billie was in there.

I looked back at our wedding picture, thinking about how at that time, neither of us had known what would happen in just four and a half years time.

I wondered what it would've been like if I'd been born 30 or so years earlier and met Billie when we were both in our 20's. Would he have married me? Would we have had kids? Would Joanna have been born years earlier, and would she still have died? Would me and Billie still be together?

I put the picture back on the night table and laid on my back. I thought about the party me, Mike, and Tre had all been planning for Billie. It was only a week away now. It was going to be quite bittersweet, knowing that Billie wouldn't live to his next birthday.

The bathroom door opened, and Billie emerged, a white towel around his waist.

"Morning." I said.

"Morning." he replied. He went to the dresser, opened the drawer, and dropped the towel, revealing his ass. I felt in between my legs tighten up.

Once he was fully clothed, he turned around. "Are you going to have a shower, babe?" he asked.

I sat up. "Yeah.". I got out of bed and walked over to Billie. "Love you." I said, putting my arms around his neck.

"Love you, too.". I gave him a quick kiss and headed to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My short, black lacy nightgown that had spaghetti straps and showed too much of my breasts really made me look like a slut. But I didn't care.

As the warm water hit me, I kind of wished that Bille was in the shower with me. Seeing him naked a few minutes ago had turned me on.

But then I thought about next Saturday; how he'd be celebrating his last birthday ever, and I was kind of glad that I was alone. He had seen me cry more than enough times already.