The Art of Taking Chances || Severus Snape x Reader ||

Chapter 3: Dead End Conversations

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"It seems you haven't changed in the slightest."

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Snape was quickly beginning to realize that seeing you and being in your presence was inevitable. Hogwarts was a large castle, but Severus seemed to be seeing you everywhere. He had to sit next to you every time you were in The Great Hall for starters. Severus usually stayed silent, leaving you to chat with Flitwick on your other side. Severus was a bit nosy, and he'd eavesdrop on your conversations, sometimes being tempted to put in his 2 cents.

He had forgotten just some pleasantly chatty you were. You had a voice that brought a certain warmth to his chest and a delightful hum in his ears. You were one of those people who could talk about anything. You seemed to know a little piece of knowledge about everything, and if there was something that you weren't knowledgeable about, you were always willing to learn.

Secondly, he passed you in the corridors at LEAST twice a day, forcing him to offer some kind of greeting that usually didn't extend past a brief nod and ignoring your attempts to start a conversation. It seemed that whenever he wasn't seeing you, he was hearing about you. You were still the topic of discussion amongst students, who were growing more pleased with you every day. It seemed that you were wildly popular, bursting with confidence and gaining all kinds of attention.

It was just like the old days.

Despite how irritated it made him, he couldn't help but swoon a little. You were unmistakably charismatic, charming....beautiful. 

He couldn't stop himself from wanting to interact with you, but he was going to continue fighting that urge until he couldn't anymore or until it was an impossible feat. He just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

Professor Snape was NOT a happy camper when he entered his office at the end of the first week. He was already tuckered out from a long day, and his bad mood was very clear. Snape had changed the position of his desk to where it was on the right side of the room, leaving enough room for his chair to sit against the wall that was behind it. He had moved both of his bookcases to be placed on the same wall, and that concluded Snape's office decor. You had moved your office belongings in the morning after Dumbledore paid Snape a visit.

And Snape had never seen so much stuff in his life.

You had bookcases, a desk, a chair for you to sit in, two chairs for others to sit in, a floor lamp, and just about anything else that you MIGHT find in an office. It seemed that every time he came into his (well, now your) shared office, there was something new in place that wasn't there before. The room looked rather silly now, and it was completely split down the middle. Your left side of the room was warm, decorated, and inviting. His side was dark, plain, and rather scary. 

You were two totally different people and it showed.

He did have to give you some credit. You were impeccably organized, which was a relief for Snape since he would've lost his marbles if you were a messy person. Still, that didn't keep him from being sour when he arrived. He came bursting in rather abruptly, slamming the door behind him and causing you to jump in your seat. That's when he noticed that you had added yet another item to your side of the room. 

"How much stuff could one person possibly have?" Snape grumbled, going to his respective side and sitting down.

Your gaze averted to the pencil cup that was newly placed on the corner of your desk. While quills were the most popular writing utensil at Hogwarts, your time spent in the Muggle world had caused you to become accustomed to other forms of writing. 

Over the course of the week, you had grown more and more aggravated with Snape. You had been nothing but kind and friendly, going out of your way to offer him your amiability. He wasn't accepting it, and he had continued to walk all over you. So, yeah, your patience was wearing thin with the Potions master.

"That was the last of my stuff," You mumbled; "It's just a cup."

"If you ask me, it's excessive." Snape sneered, keeping his eyes trained on the essays in front of him.

"Good thing I didn't ask then." You snapped back, angrily scribbling on your parchment.

He was so critical of everything you did. He criticized your teaching style, the assignments that you gave, your time management, and now he was hating on your desk decor. It was like he didn't approve of anything that you did, and the more time you spent together, the more he picked on the most menial things.

"It was just an observation." He rattled off.

"Snape, are you seriously criticizing this right now?" You hissed, refusing to look at him; "You're acting like I moved my entire bedroom in here. It's a cup."

The tension in the room was thick. It felt like you'd choke on it if you took too deep of a breath. He was impossible. It was no wonder that he never had any friends when you were kids.

"Still as discourteous as ever," Severus murmured; "It seems you haven't changed in the slightest."

That made your blood boil. You had been nothing but kind to him, offering your gentlest hand and sweetest tone that he only slapped away with his cold demeanor. Now he had the audacity to call you rude?

"It seems that you haven't changed either," You snarled, pushing yourself away from your desk to stand up. You walked around to the front of your desk, leaning against it; "You're still the same hateful, horrible, insensitive guy that I only ever tried to be nice to when we were young."

That left a sting in Snape's chest. He obviously knew that a lot of people saw him that way, but for some reason hearing it come from you was...hurtful. This wasn't even the first time this week that this conversation had been held and it still bothered. Maybe had been a little too uninviting towards you. You hadn't ever really caused him in problems...but the people you had been friends with surely had. And your possibly current lover had literally almost killed him. 

Snape still wasn't over the whole "Sirius Black tried to kill me in an act of spite" thing. Snape still felt justified for holding a grudge against Sirius (as well as all of The Marauders) for that. It wasn't like Snape would've ever tried to do anything like that to them. But what Snape had never acknowledged or come to terms with was the person who actually saved him from what would've been an irreversible fate.

He always left that part out.

You and Lily had always been friendly towards him. You were in contact with Snape through Lily, but still friendly nonetheless. That was, until, their friendship ended terribly and Snape never spoke to her again. Seeing you was like seeing her again...but he felt something different with you that he didn't have with her.

He figured he'd unpack that later.

For now, Snape wasn't willing to make amends with you. In his eyes, you were just as bad as your dear Sirius Black and his friends. You were his colleague and coworker, and he wanted it to remain that way. He thought it was because he was afraid that you might have ill intentions or something along those lines, but what he didn't yet know what that his heart was threatening to open up.

And he was trying to protect himself from that.

"Well, I suppose that change isn't always necessary then." Snape replied, returning his attention to the essays on his desk, ending yet another dead end conversation.

All you wanted was for him to talk to you. You wanted to have a civil, mature, and adult conversation about things that had been left suspended in the air when you left Hogwarts. Things that had been eating away at you for the last decade. 

Was that too much to ask of him?

"No...I guess not." You hushed out, returning to your own desk.

You just didn't understand why he resented you so much. You hadn't ever done anything to him. Not really anyway. A guttural sigh erupted from your throat as you hung your head in defeat. This surely wouldn't be the last time you'd try to crack him, but you were still discouraged. Not only were you discouraged, but you were growing desperate for a chance at reconciliation. 

Who knows? Maybe starting over and having a chance at having a real connection would change both of you in ways you'd never imagine. 

For the time being, it looked like you'd never know.