The Upside of Falling || Karlnap

6 - the blame game

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I woke up to an annoying beeping right in my ear. I didn't want to open my eyes but I knew I should. When I did open then three people rushed over to my bed, a nurse, Nick, and my mother, my poor mother looking pale as ever.

"Karl, can you hear me?" The nurse said.

"Yes." I say, my voice raspy.

She held her hand out above my head and held up her fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three." I responded as she put up three fingers.

"Great. Kristy, can you come talk with me outside?" She asked my mom. She nodded and followed her outside, leaving me with Nick.

I felt tired, my eyes were droopy. "Hi." I whispered.

He came to my bedside and wrapped me in his arms gently. "I'm so sorry." He said as he pulled back.

I took his hand in mine and squeezed his fingers. "Nothings your fault, I should've told you."

He gave me a sad smile and I patted the spot in the hospital bed next to me. He laid down next to me and then wrapped me in his arms. I put my head on his chest and let out a deep breath. "Go to sleep, I can see you're tired." He whispered.

I hummed and closed my eyes obediently. Just as I was about to fall asleep I felt his lips against the side of my face. "I love you, Kar."

I woke to someone sobbing next to me. I opened my eyes and tilted my head toward Nick, seeing him sleeping. I turned the other way and saw my mom, on her knees, her hands over her face. "Mom please don't cry." I whispered, running a hand through her hair.

She never cried in front of me, even when dad died she would save it until she was alone in her room. "Karl you- you scared me." She said, sniffling and wiping off her tears.

"I'm so sorry mom." I said, putting my arms loosely around her neck.

"Nick told me everything. I should've known, I should've been there for my only child."

"I didn't tell anybody, mom." I said, I didn't know how to make her feel better. "You did nothing wrong, I just made some stupid decisions."

"You did nothing wrong with him either." She said. I knew she was talking about Isaac, I didn't want to say his name out loud either.

I stayed quiet though, I feel like a could've shoved him away harder or called someone. But I didn't.

"You do know that right." She said, her mood changing into anger.

I just shrugged. "I feel like I could've done more."

"No. It is not your fault." She said sternly. "Right now, say 'It is not my fault'."

I stayed quiet and wrapped my arms tighter around her.

She decided to change the subject. "The doctor said she just wants to monitor you for a couple days, make sure you don't get permanent brain damage or anything." I nodded and pulled back from our awkward hug.

"Thank you, mom." I said as she started getting up. "I don't say it enough but I love you, you're so strong."

She smiled a little, wiping at her tears again. "I have to go home tonight but I promise I'll be back tomorrow as soon as possible."

"I'll be okay. Goodnight." I said, squeezing her hand.

"Goodnight, sweetie." She bent down and kissed my forehead and then walked out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts and Nick's quiet breathing.

I reached for my phone, getting ahold of it and then going into Instagram. I went to Isaac's profile, clicking on the first picture. It was a picture of him and Sage in his car, kissing. The second was another picture of Sage but it was only her this time. She was wearing a top that exposed... a lot, of skin. Her crop top went up so far that you could see the under part of her boob. The neck line of it came so far down that you could see the tops of her tits and then down her shirt.

I went back to the picture of them kissing, he looked in love, he never looked at me like that before while we kissed. I should've seen everything coming for miles away. I guess I was fine with him breaking up with me but cheating on me? While I actually loved him.

Nick's hand reached up and grabbed my phone, hiding it behind his leg. "Hey!" I said, tilting my head up to face him.

"Shut up, you'll thank me later."

I frowned but put my head back on his chest. "Can I have it back now?"

"Will you look at Instagram?"

"No." I sighed.

"Fine." He said, handing it back to me.

I got off of the Instagram page and went to Minecraft, creating a new world. Nick joined, the name Sapnap appearing at the bottom left hand corner in yellow letters.

"What the heck does your name even mean?"

"It's pandas backward." He said, hitting my character in the game.

"Ohhhhh."

His phone was resting on top of my head, it gently moved when he moved in the game.

"Can we make a house?" I asked, getting wood.

"Sure."

Me and Nick spent almost two hours making a house, we had a dog and a cat and we lived in a small cottage core house. We kept playing until a nurse came in, telling me to go to sleep.

I put my phone on the nightstand and sighed, leaning on Nick's shoulder. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I said, pulling a cover up to my chest.

I closed my eyes, sucking in a breath before coming to a realization. "Don't you have to go home?"

"No, my parents are watching my siblings."

"Mmm."

"Hey Kar?"

"Yea?"

"Can you promise me that you won't drive without permission?" His voice was filled with worry, like it was his job to protect me. How could I say no to that.

"I promise I will never drive a car without permission." I said truthfully, looking up into his eyes.

"Thank you." He whispered after a moment of looking at me.

For some goddamn reason, I just wanted to stretch my neck up a little further and capture his lips in mine.

No. I couldn't do that. What the fuck?

I tilted my head back down and rested on his shoulder, trying to clear my mind.

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1088 words