peace

chapter 5

Derek sat quietly at his desk. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing with his life. At least the yelling stopped. Ever since the bathroom with Meredith, he hadn't yelled at anyone. But his life was still empty and void. The only time since he moved to Seattle that his life wasn't empty was that night at Joe's. Meredith saved him from drowning. But only for one night. He could have tried to make it more than one night, but he just didn't know what to say to her.

He was Meredith Grey's boss. It's not like he could just ask her out on a date. He wasn't quite positive but he thought that was some form of workplace sexual harassment. Plus it wasn't like Meredith had shown any interest since. She had been avoiding him just as much as he had been avoiding her.

There was a light knock at his office door, "Come in." And Meredith appeared in his office.

"Dr. Grey." He sighed. Even if it was strictly professional, being around her made breathing easier.

"I- um- have something I need to discuss with you -er- Derek." She said.

"Derek?" He asked questioning why she had used his first name for the first time ever.

"It's- I am using your first name because this is a personal issue. This isn't me coming to you as my boss."

"Okay." He said slowly.

"I'm pregnant... with um- it's yours" He sat completely still staring at her with shock. Then slowly a large grin appeared on his face.

"You're pregnant?" A wide smile plastered on his face.

"Yea, I took a pregnancy test about an hour ago, then waited outside your door for another 45 minutes to you know courage up."

"That's amazing!" He stood up and walked around to the other side of the desk.

"It is?"

"Yes. Wonderful. Amazing. Oh my god I am going to be a father. Have you gone to the OB to check it out?"

"No um. I have an appointment in an hour."

"Can I come?"

"You want to come to my OB appointment?"

"Yes, there is going to be an ultrasound right? It's been a while since I have done an OB rotation but I think there is one."

"Yea. There is. Listen Derek, I don't really have any experience with telling guys that their slutty bar hookup is making them a baby daddy, but I think this is a weird reaction."

"Weird reaction?"

"The whole, big smile and wanting to come to the OB with me, it's freaking me out."

"Oh um." He tried to un-smile his face.

Meredith laughed, "Now that's just creepy."

"Well you said my smile was freaking you out."

"It's not so much the smile, are you really happy about this?" Meredith asked.

"Meredith, I am ecstatic. This is the first time I have been happy in months. I can't even put into words how happy I am about this."

"Oh okay."

"You're- you're keeping it right? I mean, it's your decision obviously but you wouldn't have told me if you weren't keeping it right?"

"Yes. Especially after your reaction, definitely keeping."

"Oh thank god. Not that- it's just. I haven't even seen it or anything but I think I already love it." Derek breathed.

Meredith gave a light smile. "So do I."