Random One Shots

Neko!Russia x Canada boy x boy

I'm calling this, Never Enough.

Warning there is major angst, talks of suicide warning. Save your mental health if those things are gonna trigger you.

There is also some fluff.

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Russia sat with a frown on his face. He was focusing on the tiny crescent of the moon hanging just over the treeline. His phone was in his hand. A simple message on it he had seen too many times.

I'm sorry Russia
I can't let you be hurt by this

Always with the protection. The half hearted apologies. They always pointed to one thing.

You're not good enough for me.

Russia had hoped when he made it into being a therapist he would finally have the skills to be enough. But he wasn't. He was never enough. He was never string enough, or smart enough, or kind enough, or made it clear enough he just wanted to help them and that he could take it. But he wasn't enough. Russia wasn't enough to keep his family from shattering. Not enough to save the people he knew online from killing themselves. Not enough to save his patients. He was never enough for anyone. And because of that, everyone left him. He just had one contact left. One person he hadn't let down yet. There was no way they would be awake at this hour but he called. They needed one last message before he disapeared for good.

His phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hey Russ. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"You know I'm never asleep at this time. Besides isn't like like 3am where you are?"

"I sleep during the day, you do not Russia."

"Yeah yeah. There's something important I need to tell you." Russia now felt kinda bad that he would be letting down this puffball of joy. But he was a nuisance better gone forever than left to hurt more people.

"What is it?"

"I-Im sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For never being there for you when you're here for me, for-"

"No. Russia that's not true. You're doing your best and sure, you might not respond occasionally when I need help but it's cause you are doing important life things like sleeping and eating. You aren't chosing to ignore me. You're just taking care of yourself."

"Yeah but-"

"No. You don't get any buts this is undeniable fact Russia." Russia was left speachless at this. Canada was being so forceful with his tone. "You're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, and anyone who can't see that is an idiot sandwich."

Russia sat in silence on the phone for a minute. "Thanks dear. But when I'm not enough for you just tell me. I'm used to it."

"You will always be more than enough for me Russia. I can't wait to see you again next month."

"You're coming next month?"

"Crap did I forget to tell you?" Canada was so genuine in his words. All of them. It was hard to not believe him all the time cause he acted so innocent.

"Y-yeah. You kinda did."

"Oh for crying out loud."

"Just say fuck like a normal person Canada."

"I will say that word once I leave call with you and am home alone to do whatever the heck I want."

"Alright. Love you Cancan."

"Love you too Russ."

Their call ended. Russia felt confused now. On one hand he loved his boyfriend. But what if he was lying? He always said he couldn't lie to Russia. Yet he had caught him lying to him twice. In all fairness both lies were very simple and he was gonna learn soon anyways but still.

Russia sighed as he looked out the window. The cresent moon had sunk below the treeline but you could still see it's light between some of the trees.

"I'll live. For you Canada."