Broken Start// b. barnes

The Introduction

I stayed behind that next morning while Steve went to the meeting to explain what he saw at the HYDRA base to Colonel Philips. Peggy had already let me know that I was to take the day off with the rest of the soldiers after the Hell we went through during my mission. We both knew what she really meant by taking the time off; to secretly go and see Blue. As long as she gets to see him again, Peggy won't tell the Colonel about Blue being in the camp.

While being on a nice 'vacation', I have thought long and hard about introducing Bucky to Blue. Anxiety ate me up on every thought that were to turn negative on about how the two would meet. I didn't want to judge Bucky nor did I want to compare him to most men that had reacted horribly to knowing Blue was my son. I mean, Steve didn't turn me away when he first found out Blue had belonged to me.

But this is Bucky! This is the man that says that I could be the "one" for him. I don't even think if I am the one for him. What I do know is that once I tell him my story, Bucky will be thinking twice about me being his girl.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I sang down to Blue whose eyes were glowing their unusual bright blue — which is the reason why I nicknamed him Blue. Blue giggled up at me causing me to smile as I continue to sing (you can never go wrong with Johnny Cash), "You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you... So, please, don't take my sunshine away."

"I didn't know you could sing," I was startled by the familiar Brooklyn accent coming from the entrance of the tent.

I looked up as Bucky smiled awkwardly standing in his tank top and his green khaki pants. His dog-tags resting on his toned chest. I controlled the blush from spreading across my cheeks as I openly gawked at Bucky's body. His hair was ruffled, like he was running his fingers through it too much. I noticed that his face was clean from dirt and dry blood.

"Uh, y-yea..." I stuttered out, shyly I motioned for Bucky to come closer.

Bucky gestured to the child in my arms that was squirming and tilting his head at the new person that was in the tent with us. "Whose this little guy?" He asked sitting down beside me. The tiny cot squeaked under the new added weight.

I cursed the multiverse about bringing this moment far sooner than I wanted. I was praying this interaction to happen much later. The bottled up panic was just waiting to pop at my inner battle. It was soon a bloodbath as Bucky continued to wait patiently for my response. I weighed out the pro's and con's at the outcome of how the conversation would end up. If I don't tell him now and he finds out from someone else in the future, Bucky would hate me. If I tell him now, Bucky would never speak to me again.

Either way, Bucky is going to exit out the door. Leaving me behind with a broken heart.

"This is, um, this is Blue," I answered. I smiled softly, watching Bucky coo to my child. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What kind of a name is Blue?" He questioned. I shrugged.

"What kind of a name is Bucky?" I retorted.

Bucky snorted, "Touché." We smiled at each other as Bucky continue to play with Blues' finger's. "Are you watching him or somethin'?"

I took a sharp inhale as if it were my last. "Or something," I replied instead. "Blue is... my... son."

The world seemed to stop when the small space became quiet, other than the small coos and giggles escaping from Blue's mouth. My heart was beating faster in my chest and my stomach was bundled up in nerves. He didn't answer, he didn't move, he didn't laugh, he didn't seem to be breathing. Bucky was frozen in his spot beside me.

I regret the decision of ever saying anything. Maybe I shouldn't have been so blunt about it. But how else was I suppose to soften the blow? To be honest, nothing as big as this is light news.