Broken Start// b. barnes

Lost and Proud

"Kid?" A voice shouts out ahead. "Kid! Kitara! Answer me, goddamn it!"

My brows furrow in confusion as the frantic desperation came out louder. The voice sounding very familiar but I don't know where it's from or how I know that person.

I cough underneath the rubble and cover my mouth to block the smoke from entering my lungs. My eyes blur with tears as it burns my eyes.

"Kitara!"

"Here," I think. "I'm right here."

But they didn't hear me.

I don't know how I got into this situation. All I know is that I want to ringing to stop because it was getting annoying and I was going to rip my ears off if it didn't subside any time soon. I groan, pulling myself up to stand. My knees wobble and I lean on the wall to support myself.

All I remember is a bomb. I remember how it exploded out of nowhere that I didn't have time to cover myself. How debris fell around me as I tried to contact the team my location but didn't get an answer.

My eyes widen in fear. I scan and frantically felt around my stomach. To my relief, my shoulders sag as I didn't find any blood nor harm to my belly.

I didn't look up at the pounding footsteps that rush towards me too busy thanking God for protecting my child.

"Kitara!" My eyes snap up and connect to the familiar brown eyes that belong to my father's doppelgänger. 

"Oh, hey, Logan..." I greet like it was a normal morning. "... how's it going?"

Logan didn't answer instead he immediately pulls me close to his chest and wraps his arms around me protectively. The mere action caught me off guard but what caused my eyes to widen is how loud his worried and frightened his thoughts are.

Slowly, and cautiously, I wrap my arms around him to reassure him that I am very much alive. That he doesn't have to worry anymore.

"Logan?" I coo. "What's wrong?"

He didn't answer, pulling away his brows were furrowed with guilt. I was confused, it was strange to see such emotion on Logan's face. My stomach dropped as my body turned numb as the worst possible scenarios came to mind. I wanted to read his mind to ease my heart but too scared to find something much worse or that comes close to my fears.

Logan bowed his head, not baring to look me in the eye. His hands fall upon my shoulders as mine fell to my sides. Dreading the news.

"Look, kid, just know that... that it isn't your fault. No one blames you."

"Logan, your scaring me." I tell him, my heart pounding in my chest as I feel the bile run up my throat. "What happened?"

He sighed, finally looking at me but not straight into my eyes, where I want him to. I saw the look of regret and guilt in his crestfallen expression. At how his eyes sunk in as the days work caught up with him.

"Its Steve."

"What about him? Is he hurt?"

Logan shook his head. "He stopped the Red Skull. But... the plane had nowhere to land." The longer he stalled in telling me the news the harder the pain is banging inside. "He had to crash it to save the people in New York." 

I took a step back causing his arms to fall. The lump clogged up my throat.

"Logan, what are you trying to say?"

"Steve's gone, Kitara."

The world stopped. I couldn't move. What does the universe have against me? What have I done to deserve this?

My head felt numb as my heart fell to my stomach. A choked sob passed my lips so I put up a hand to muffle the sound. First, Bucky and now Steve.

How can he say that they won't blame me? Of course they will! I didn't detect the death. I didn't see it. If I did, Steve would still be here, most likely kissing Peggy with all his might. Taking her dancing at the clubs, bringing her flowers for every date. To have children together and I would be the Aunt to spoil them and teach them tricks to make him mad, saying how I was a bad influence.

Chanting the word 'no', I fell to the ground and Logan was the one who caught me, shushing me and whispering that it was going to be okay in my ear.

This scene felt so familiar. Like dejavú. It reminded me of Bucky's death and Steve comforted me, staying by my side the entire time. Now, Logan is comforting me. 

Is this a curse? For the person who comforts me has death awaiting them in the near future? If that were the truth, I want Logan to run for the hills and leave me here to die.

But I couldn't.

I now had a child to think about. I had Blue who was waiting for me at home.

Then, a thought snuck up on me causing more tears to spring to my eyes while everything around us burst up into flames (quite literally). In the beginning, my family was expanding. But in the end, it decreased more compared to when it started.

"You know, for a person who can see the future," I mutter out loud, "there sure is a lot of death."

"No one blames you." Logan reminds me.

"But they should." I argue back.

"Well, I don't blame you." He corrects. "Besides," Logan clears his throat, "what kind of father would I be for blaming their daughter?"

I pull away in shock and surprise. Speechless, this being the first time he admits to me being his daughter. That I am his doppelgänger's daughter. And it felt nice, being a daughter to someone again. To seeing my father.

Maybe the universe doesn't hate me after all. 

I pull him back into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck as his snake around my waist.

"I'm glad your my father." I whisper in his ear. To save him from embarrassment, I chose to ignore the shaky sigh escape his lips.

"And I'm proud your my daughter."

And together, we sat on the ground as the world around us went up in flames.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ONLY A FEW MORE CHAPTERS LEFT BEFORE THIS BOOK COMES TO AN END. I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER IS SHORTER THAN THE REST BUT I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER.

STAY SAFE! AND WASH YOUR HANDS!

- TRUTHER REAL