Broken Start// b. barnes

Death and Memories

Death. Such a beautiful thing. It has different meanings to different people. But death brings sorrow to those who loved the person who left the earth. Death brings anger for taking them away from us. Death brings regret to those who wished they had done all the things they should have done before.

It brings reminders to many people in many ways that it creates what ifs..? to the mind. It also changes a person. Whether it brings them to open their eyes or closes them forever. It could blind someone to the urge to kill. Or, clear their future to stop others from leading to the same faith.

But... there are just some who are stuck in time. Feeling their energy drain from their bodies. Stuck between choices and thoughts. Not knowing what to do.

To some, they greet death with open arms. People who open their doors don't know who they are leaving behind. Just wanting to leave this Hell called Earth. Those who accept, die with a smile on their face; finally at peace.

To others, they deny death entry. Humans who don't want to accept that they are meeting their ending. They don't want to leave their lovers behind for them to grieve over their bodies. Those who deny are left in darkness for all of eternity; never once having peace.

"Death," I think. "Such a beautiful thing."

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I remember the day we first met. The day that my world changed for the better. The day that I have never thought I have seen someone so beautiful. 

I have never been a jealous person especially when it comes to my best friend. I mean, what do I have to be jealous of? I have everything I could ever want. The looks, the body, best friend, family. 

But when I saw her kiss his cheek, it came down on me as a punch from reality, that maybe I didn't have everything. That my short friend has something that I want. I watch with envy as they laughed together and held hands. As they disappeared, leaving me behind. All I could do was watch from the sidelines, assuming things for the worst.

Steve has been my pal for as long as I can remember. Always protecting him from fights that he usually starts. I pick out his dates that ditch him for me. I admit, guilt would ride on my shoulders every time it happens but a smile would be my mask to cover it up. 

So when it was Steve who got the gal — it left me confused as to why I was the one who got ditched.

Growing up, neighbors made jokes about how there was never gonna be a girl out there for me because I had already slept with them all. It hurt. Thinking that there was no one out there for me. For them to assume things like that about me. That someone who was only going to use me because I was handsome or had fancy things. 

My Ma told me that every one in the world has a person for them. You just have to let time take its course.

So, when I saw her standing next to the statue in her polka dotted dress looking around for someone. I knew that I had found her. Especially, when she didn't fall for my smirk I knew... I knew that I had found that someone who was going to be the one for me.

I knew that I was going to marry her one day.

I shivered, tugging my jacket closer to my body to keep warm. We waited for the train that carried Dr. Zola up in the Alps. I sat next to Steve who was drawing in his little sketchbook. I glare at the idea that the weird serum that they put in him allowed Steve to be warmer than the average person. 

I swear by the time we get back to camp I won't have anymore toes.

It sadden me that Kitara wasn't here to keep me company. But I was glad that she was back at camp where it was safe. A place where she was going to get better. It worried me when every morning she threw up for some unknown reason. A reason that she said would be explained once I returned from this mission.