Forget (OffGun)

28.

Gun opened his eyes when he heard Off's car driving away. He always do that. He doesn't know why he keeps on waking up so early but New explained to him that he was waking up early to cook for Off.

His body might get used to waking up so early to cooked breakfast for them. But he was confused.

He decided to pretend sleeping until Off left for work because being with him is so uncomfortable for Gun.

It looks like he loves Off, so much. But he still can't understand why does he need to give up his dreams for him and why Off isn't talking about it. Like it doesn't matter at all.

But what makes him even more confuse is...everytime Off will say something sweet or show some care about him. All he can feel is sadness, anger, regret and it makes him even uncomfortable towards the older. And he doesn't know why. It feels like those act of his husband is hurting him for some reason. A reason he didn't know.

He sat down and sigh. He can't even sleep that much because he keeps on waking up with a stain of tears on his cheeks. He keeps on having a nightmare. A nightmare that he can't remember as soon as he woke up.

It's torturing him everyday. His head is hurting trying to remember his dreams. And it gets even worse everytime he see Off. Why would he feel like that towards his husband? Is it just because he can't remember him? Or there is other reason? A deeper reason? Gun didn't know.

But he knows one thing. He can't just stay here doing nothing. He can't let another year will pass him without reaching his dreams. But he needs to make his body stronger.

Gun was making his tea when someone knocked on the door. He opened it and was confused seeing Singto alone.

"Singto, what brings you here?" Gun asked as he open the door wider to let Singto in.

They both entered the living room and sat on the couch. Gun totally forgetting his tea.

"Well, I wanna talk to you, Gun" Singto spoke. Gun can feel how nervous he is. Gun sigh and smiled at him.

"Relax. What is it?" Gun comforted him. Singto heaved a heavy sigh before he spoke.

"Is there something you can remember now? Those 5 years?" Singto asked. Gun slowly nodded. "What it is?"

"It's when we visited Jane in U.S." Gun answered simply.

"How about Off? Can you remember something about him?" He asked again. Gun just casually shook his head.

"I'm trying to remember him but I really don't. I also wanna remember him now, Singto. I don't want to feel uncomfortable with him because it is hard for me to be with someone I don't know" Gun confessed. Singto nodded as sign that he understand him.

"I wan't to remember everything just to answer all my questions" Gun added making Singto confused.

"What questions?" Singto asked.

"I have a lot of questions. But what keeps bothering me is my relationship with him." Gun looked at Singto. "I'm trying to at least talk to him but I keep on hurting everytime and I don't even know the reason. It's confusing me. Are we in a good term or in a bad term? Did something bad happened before I got into the accident? Did we get married because we both love each other? Or is there other reason?"

Singto gulped as he heard what Gun said. He feel sad. He may wanted to tell him what really happened but all they can say is he got hit by a truck. What he hates the most is hiding something to a person he truly cares. It feels like it wasn't right especially seeing Gun this confuse. But he can't do anything.

"Gun, your memory will be back sooner or later. What matters the most is you are okay. You are safe now" Singto tried to smiled at him. Gun just nodded and sigh.

"Is that what you came here?" Gun then asked.

"I just wanna check if you're really okay" Singto answered.

"Where's Krist?" Gun asked again. Singto now stood and Gun did also.

"He might still be sleeping. I'm going now, Gun. Your father is waiting for me" Singto said. Gun accompany him until they reach the door.

Gun bid his goodbye and hugging Singto before he left. Gun sigh. He realized now how he was left out.

All of his friends are now happy as they already achieved their dreams. And Gun was left alone. Stuck here in this house.

He was about to sit down again when he remembered his tea. Gun 'tsk' before going to the kitchen to get his tea that is already cold. Gun sigh and decided to make another before going back to their room.

He keeps on walking back and fort, trying to think what he will do. He really wanted to be an actor. He stopped walking and stared at his phone that was on the bed.

He just stood there, staring at his phone. Thinking if he should call him or not. And he end up picking his phone to call him.

Gun is biting his finger nail as he listen to the phone that is ringing. After 3 or 4 rings he finally picked up the phone.

"Gun, do you need something?" New immediately asked. Gun stilled, hesitating if he could say it or not. His heart is pounding.

Will he say it or not? Can he still do it? Isn't it too late now?

"Hello? Gun?" New called him. Gun sigh and closed his eyes.

"P'New" he nervously called his best friend.

He lost his voice again. Gun feels like something is stuck on his throat, making him can't speak.

"Gun, is there something wrong? Are you okay?" His best friend started to panick as he was asking those question. Gun bit his lips and heaved a deep sigh before he spoke.

Let's give it a try, Gun. Let's give it a try.

"I want to be an actor, P'New. Can you help me?"