Forget (OffGun)

41.

Tay keeps on watching his best friend who's drinking alcohol again. He's been drinking every time he had a chance. For the past half month, Off kept himself busy to distract himself from the pain, but whenever he's alone or he finished his work, he'll waste the remaining time drinking.

They were in that same situation again when they watched the news about Gun, taking a break from acting. Taking a leave and leaving the country.

They said it's because of his health. Yeah maybe that's one of the reason. But they all know it's because what they've been through. It's because of what happened to them.

Off's tears fell when he saw Gun's picture on the screen. Smiling, his dimples are showing and his eyes are sparkling. He's been drinking to at least ease the pain but it looks like it wasn't working at all.

What happened to them hurts so much. But what hurts the most is watching Gun act as if nothing happened. Like what happened isn't that important at all.

Even after what happened to them that night, he secretly watched him and supports. But it always hurts him whenever he sees Gun smiling like he didn't end their relationship. Like there's nothing happened between them. He's acting like himself.

He doesn't love me anymore, does he?

The thought made Off drunk the remaining alcohol in his glass and immediately poured it with new one.

He hopes that the bitterness that flows in his throat will go straight to his heart and burn all the pain.

"You should stop now, Off" Tay said and decided to turned off the TV before trying to steal away the glass and the alcohol.

But Off slap his hand away before drinking again.

"Are you going to stay like this?!" Tay asked. He decided to be more strict and snatch the glass from him. He glared at Off.

"You don't know how I feel right now. I need it, Tay. So please let me." Tears are kept on falling from his cheeks. "I just need to drink a little more to stop the pain." He begged.

Tay's face softened as he sighed and shook his head. He looks so pitiful but what he's doing right now isn't helping at all.

"Stop already, Off" Tay said. Off then rest his head on the table while crying.

"Gun doesn't love me anymore. He looks so fine without me. He looks...happier"

It's so heart-rending seeing your friend so broken. It is the very first time seeing Off this broken.

Tay sighed. Maybe he needs to let him do this for the last time. He'll let his friend say everything he wants and he'll listen to him.

"I already love him. I'm...already sure about him...."

"...Destiny is fucking cruel. It's so cruel it kept on messing us up. But I'm the one at fault. It's...all my fault..."

"...Gun deserves to be happy. He deserves someone who's a lot better than me. Someone who's not an asshole like me. He should be with someone who can give him whatever he wants. But...but—I don't want him to have someone other than me!"

"Then be that someone" Tay decided to speak. Off slowly looks at his way. Eyes can't seem to focus

"What?"

"Be that someone who's better than you now. Be that someone who's a lot better than you. Someone who's not an asshole like you. Someone who can give him whatever he wants. Be it time, love, or any material things." Tay replied and put a sincere smile hoping this would wake him up. Hoping it will help his friend get up and work on himself.

"Be better. A lot way better than yourself right now."

"But Gun... he doesn't love me anymore" he whined like a child who doesn't have a playmate.

"How do you say so?" Tay asked.

"Because he looks so fine and better without me"

"Why do you think he took a leave?" He asked again.

"Because of his health. Didn't you hear the news? Why are you asking me here!" Off answered. Forehead wrinkled in irritation.

"Because he needed time to heal, Off." Off's body stiffened by what Tay said. He was suddenly sitting straight while looking at Tay. Like he suddenly sobered up.

"What did you say?"

"Gun was the one who suffered the most here, Off. It damaged him a lot. He's hurting a lot that he decided to take a break from acting which he loves the most. He loves you a lot and it won't fade that easily. He's in the process of healing so you should move forward too" Tay saw a glimpse of hope in his eyes. It makes him happy. He's confident he can convince him with just a little more push.

"What you're doing right now isn't something that can make you be a better person. You know that well. How can you prove yourself when you're like this? Singto, our friend, said you can try again when you're better. So what are you doing right now? Are you going to continue doing this and let someone have the person you love?"

"It's time to prove yourself, Off. Fix yourself and start moving now"

Off didn't reply. He's looking straight at Tay who just smiled at him, cheering him up.

"Do I deserve, Gun?" He subconsciously asked.

He's still hesitant. He's doubting himself. There's a lot of what ifs.

What if Gun won't accept him anymore no matter how he makes himself better. What if he finds someone better than him and will choose that person over him who hurt him so much. What if Gun's Father won't let him get closer to Gun again. Everyone around him was cheering for him to be better and take another chance to prove himself. But what if Gun doesn't want to give him another chance? And if he did, will he be able to satisfy him? Is he so sure that he's not going to hurt him anymore? If Gun gave him a chance, is he sure he won't make him cry again?

Those questions were all written on his face. Tay sighed and decided to get ready to leave.

He grabbed his suit and stared at Off again.

"No one can help you but yourself. It's You against yourself. It's your life so it's up to you if you'll give up here or do whatever you can to bring him back to you."

Tay walked closer the door but before he opened it, he spoke.

"You know it's better to try your best than regret after you get the result you didn't want to get because you never tried. Because you're scared to try"

Off was left alone. He was left alone staring at nothing. He slowly clenched his fists.

When will you learn, Off? When will you fucking learn, asshole!

He's right. You won't get a good result if you're scared to begin with.

He looked at the door where Tay left. He smiled.

"Thank you" he uttered.

He sighed and slowly leans back. He covered his eyes with the back of his palms because of the light that was directed to him.

I should really try to bring him back.

And to do that he needed to start with himself.

Accept.

Forgive.

Move forward.

And slowly change the things that needed to be changed.

Make himself a better person.

A/N: I think my updates will get shorter for now. But I'll try my best next time