Yellow || 2JIN

30

Hyunjin's POV

I sniffs and rock myself back and forth. I can hear my parent's shouts from the other room. I wipe my tears using my sleeves and hit my head lightly against on the wall behind me.

I'm being that kid again. The weak and stupid kid from ten years ago. I have my forehead pressed on kneecaps while I hug my knees tightly.

I'm fine already, I am, but why the fuck is it all going back to me?

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU BITCH!" I heard my dad's muffled shout

I close my eyes tightly and cover my ears. Please stop.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU WEREN'T BORN I WOULD STILL BE HAPPY INSTEAD OF BEING STUCK WITH YOU NOW!"

No no please stop. I'm hearing my mother's voice in my head again. I cried helplessly in my room as I keep getting flashbacks from my past.

"Don't cry! Hyunjin I swear to god I'm gonna lock you up again in the closet if you don't stop wailing there. I SAID STOP CRYING ARE YOU DEAF!? YOU'RE REALLY TESTING ME HUH!?" I flinched and quickly backed away from my closet and went to the farthest corner of my room.

I bite my lower lip trying to stifle my sobs as I hit myself.

"I'm so stupid" I said to myself and continue hitting myself.

"All of these won't happen if it weren't because of me" my mother's right, it's all my fault. It's my fault. All of it.

*****

3rd person's POV

"Hyunjinnie?" Mrs Choi knocks softly on Hyunjin's door.

"Ne?" a muffled response was heard by the maid.

"Dinner's ready, Hyunjinnie" she talks sweetly as she knows how Hyunjin's childhood has been. Almost all of the workers in Kim's mansion knows about it and they always make sure to treat the poor child good. Some of them also play with her whenever they notice that she's lonely or bored.

"Yeah yeah, I'll be down in a minute, grandma" Hyunjin said and the old woman smiled. Hyunjin might be rude at times but she's actually a sweetheart.

"Okay" Mrs Choi said and went downstairs.

"Fuck this shit" Hyunjin hastily dab her beauty blender on her face trying to make her eyes look normal as if she didn't cry for hours.

She sighed and look at herself. She's so messed up.

Hyunjin then head downstairs to the dining room and see her mom and dad there eating quietly. A black eye is visible around Mrs Kim's right eye and the bruise on the side of her lips didn't escape Hyunjin's sight.

"Take a sit" Mr Kim said and his daughter stares at her.

"Fuck this" she said and her father's eyes narrowed.

"Did you just cursed right in front of your father?" he said in a terrifying tone but it didn't affect Hyunjin even a bit.

"Yes, I did, what are you going to do? You'll beat me up too just like what you did to her?" Hyunjin glanced at her mom

"And just like what my mother did to me for years but you didn't even do a thing about it?" Hyunjin said and slam her hands on the table.

"Funny how hard you are trying to make it up for those years of being a bad father to me but you can't even be a good husband to your wife" Mr Kim put down his utensils and stare back at Hyunjin.

"Don't you think that mom deserves so much better than this?" she asked

"After putting up with those years of betrayal and cheating?"

"I love you dad but I seriously don't want you for mom" she said while looking right at his eyes.

She really went from being a daddy's girl to fearing her own dad. He really turned to one of her traumas and that breaks Hyunjin's heart. He loves her father but also hate him at the same time.