Risk and Reward

Chapter Eighteen-The Spy Life

Cassian and I have been staring off for a full minute as he ponders on how he's going to adhere my wings to my back without touching them. "I only adhere to the Illyrian ways when it matters, Cass, you can touch my wings. I know you don't mean anything by it." I assure him for the fifth time as he sighs.

"You may not, but I have and do. Purposefully touching your wings is different than the occasional brush." He reminds me and shakes his head before walking towards me with long strands of soft cloth. "The real ties will smart, but you tell me if I hurt you." He prefaces with hazel eyes roving over my face to make sure there's no trace of trepidation. I nod with a smile tugging at my lips from his care. When I don't tense at the first touch of his hand on my wing, he gently binds them so I can't extend them and they essentially become dead weight. My shoulders roll as he moves back in front of me and I frown with the discomfort of not being able to flare them, but it must be done. This is only a taste of what will happen anyway.

With my weight now thrown off balance, I have to lean forward slightly to keep my footing even, but I still remember what it was like when I first got wings. I manage. Cassian walks around me with a smile growing in strength on his face. "Good. Many Illyrians fall over the first time their wings are bound." The image almost makes me laugh, but I'm too busy soaking in the pride Cassian has scrawled all over his face. "I didn't think about how you not always having wings would help, but it's definitely an advantage." I make a mental note of that before Cass flicks his chin to the edge of the circle we're in. "Stretches."

Dutifully, I follow his instruction and go through our normal routine of stretches around the ring. It's difficult. I'd fully adjusted to having wings a long time ago as they became part of me and moving without them now is abnormal. Still, I make it through all the movements with the memory of me without wings clear in my head.

Cassian curses and there's brightness caught in his eyes. "You really could show up all those damn idiots in the Rite, Kaira." He tells me as I stand and my heart fills at his words. He only ever uses my name when he's being serious. "Maybe one day..." He ponders and I briefly wonder of what he'll think when Devlon calls my name to enter the Rite. He'll be furious, they all will be, but maybe he'll also be a little proud. "Let's get to it then, little sister." A grin cuts across his face and I suck in a breath before crouching into a fighting stance.

I suppose I'll know what he thinks soon enough.

*     *     *

Cassian crushes me.

He could have killed me over a dozen times before I learned to move with the dead weight of my wings on my back. He still caught me afterward even if the occasions were slightly less often. For a while, he fought without his wings, then used every skill at his disposal because "Illyrian warriors aren't the only things that try to kill you out there and other creatures have wings." All the same, I'm glad our practice is limited to most of the day rather than the whole of it. Although it's very tempting to head upstairs to collapse into that lovely bed he made for me.

Even with the pain and exhaustion of training, I always enjoy spending time with Cassian. During midday, he even brings me lunch as I lay face down in the dirt where he last left me. He gifts me a sweet kiss on my cheek as sunset falls and I find myself hesitating when it comes time to leave. My wings ruffle, relieved to be free of their bonds, as I consider him. "Why don't you get a house in Velaris? I don't like thinking of you up here alone." I frown slightly, but Cassian's grin can't be darkened.

"Sounds like you miss me, little sister."

I shove his shoulder. "More like worry about you. All of us wouldn't mind if you were closer."

Cassian only shrugs and presses another kiss to my cheek. "I have a home and multiple rooms I can stay at in Velaris. Get going now before Az thinks I've kidnapped you." He ends the conversation and I pout, but take a step away from him.