Risk and Reward

Chapter Eleven-Defense

I'm shocked still for a solid minute before I'm moving as fast as I can. "Rhysand, get Rhysand." I tell my shadows as I grab one of Azriel's jackets before instantly winnowing to the Steppes. Snow comes up to my knees, but I force my panic down as my shadows shoot out over the landscape for Azriel. Somehow, he's already fully dressed with Truthteller in his hand as he stalks towards the cabin Devlon is housed in with shadows writhing around him. I winnow directly into him and the second I have a grip on him, I winnow up as far as I can within the mountains.

"What are you doing?" I hiss the instant we hit snow as I pin him to the ground with my body and shadows holding him down. "Do you want to cause a war?" I go on, but there's nothing but icy calculation in his eyes.

"He insulted you." He growls as I completely sit on his hips. "He propositioned you. Touched your wings."

Something in me keens at his instinct to protect, knowing that he's at least partly right, but I can't listen to that part of me right now. "And I handled it. Returned to you without a scratch or bruise." I soothe, but that icy fire doesn't calm for a second. I'm already trembling with the cold, fear swirling in my gut as panic rises with memories of red splattered on white, all held back by the simple thought that my mate needs me.

"I felt how you felt." He grinds out and my shadows flare as he strains against them. His own shadows fight against mine and I'm unused to pushing mine harder without the intent to harm. Never have our shadows fought one another. Never. "Felt your fear. Your panic. All in the moment, then repeated when I touched you. He brought that back." Panic starts to rise in me again, not only that I'm losing the fight against his shadows, but at the cold seeping into my limbs. While he's fully dressed, I'm only in a jacket and my legs on either side of him are buried in the snow to try and keep him down.

My hands squeeze his clasped in the snow. "If you do this, then you will start a war in the camps. Someone worse will replace him and will be biased against us." His face is still set and I feel tears gathering behind my eyes. "Azriel, please—" My head snaps up when a figure exits the trees and relief washes over me at seeing Rhysand with worry written over his face. Feyre too, exits the woods behind him. "Help me." I plead. "I can't hold him."

In an instant, all the resistance against me vanishes as Rhysand's darkness takes over restraining him. I nearly fall forward with exhaustion as my shadows pull back. "Look at her, brother. Whatever your intentions are, no matter why you came here, you are hurting her. Your mate." My body is shaking violently from the cold and the flashes of memory of that damned cold pit as he looks at me. Slowly, that cold fire dims. His arms reach for me under Rhys's careful supervision and I stand, every crunch of icy snow under my feet making me wince.

"Take him home." I tell Rhys and he hesitates before nodding once. Feyre walks over to me and tentatively loops her arm with mine, tugging me close when I don't pull away. My eyes burn as I stare down at the snow while Rhys and Az vanish, then Feyre and I.

A black marble fireplace reveals where we are, the townhouse, and I remain standing for one second more before falling to my knees and starting to cry. Adrenaline mixes poorly with the memories even as relief fills me that we avoided whatever disaster could have happened tonight. Feyre falls with me and wraps her arms around me, pulling my head to her shoulder as her hands slide up and down my back between my wings. A blazing fire starts in the fireplace and Feyre tugs a heavy blanket off one of the couches to drape over me.

She doesn't try to give me any soothing words because there are none. The only thing she can give me is no judgement and her friendship, which she gives freely.

When my tears are spent and I pull away to wipe away the remnants, Feyre squeezes my hand. "You're exhausted. You need to sleep." She tells me and I simply follow her when she heads upstairs, but my brows furrow when she tugs me into her room.