Risk and Reward

Chapter Twenty-One~So it Begins

The two months pass faster than I could have imagined.

Cassian puts me through grueling training almost every day and we take trips to the Steppes to see how the females are doing afterward. Along with physical training comes survival skills and apparently, I'm severely lacking. It takes me a week alone to figure out how to make a fire and Cassian makes me stay out beside the cabin for a night simply to see what it would be like. It fucking sucks.

Meanwhile, Az takes me on a few more excursions to teach me how to use my shadows. He doesn't take me to any overly controversial places and I find myself having a bit of fun. Especially when we take a break from winnowing and decide to play small pranks on the rest of our Court. This may or may not have ended up with one of my shadows shoving Rhysand's face into a pie, but there's no evidence that we had anything to do with that.

Finally, I can pull back the Illyrian bow and shoot it even if the arrows don't impale my targets. They'll still do damage and that's all I need. I have a pile made from branches beside Cassian's house and I plan to tuck away a piece of dried sinew for my bowstring on the day. All I'll have is the clothes on my back, so I have to make it count.

The night of the Rite, I send Az home before me while I walk the city alone for the hours before midnight. At that time, I'll need to winnow to the Steppes if I don't want Illyrians winnowing here. My hounds are at my side and nuzzle against the jacket Amren gave me for Solstice as the first whispers of Spring wash over us in the breeze. For this last night there's only one person that I want to talk to, that I can talk to, before leaving.

I leave the hounds outside and walk to her door, but she swings it open before I even knock. "Walk with me?" I offer and Nesta's expression doesn't change, but she grabs a cloak before sweeping out into the night with me. Emerald lifts her head at the sight of my friend and makes sure to walk on her side as we stride down the street.

"Tomorrow then." She says softly with her arm locked around mine.

I shake my head slowly. "Tonight. As I understand it," I grilled Cassian about it all week, "groups are taken and dumped in the mountains with magic gone and wings bound. I'll go up before midnight when the Rite starts." Then the bloodshed will start in the hopes of reaching the peak before anyone else. Although, I haven't forgotten that I have two objectives to complete before the week's end. I must eliminate the male causing the rumors about Cassian and the rest of our Court in order to quell the unrest as well as survive. And I'm determined to do far more than just survive. Still...

"There is one favor I will ask of you tonight and I'm aware of what it will cost you." I preface and her eyes are wary as she considers me. "After midnight passes and it's too late, go to Rhysand and tell him where I am. Tell him about the deal, everything. Don't wait." Az can't know first. He'd come after me and doom us both, as well as possibly starting a civil war. Nesta's face pinches.

"What if I wanted to go with you to the Steppes?" She counters and I tug her closer to me.

"I won't leave you stranded with the Illyrians when I'm taken. No, I need you to do this for me. Please." She stares at the ground in front of us before nodding once. Relief fills me at the movement that at least my family won't wonder where I am. "Thank you. I want to show you something." Brows furrow over blue-grey eyes, but she doesn't resist when I drag her towards the music district and into that beautiful theater. The piano is just where I left it last and I leave Nesta beside it with my dogs waiting at the doors as I sit at the bench. The air around us is still just as heavy as the last time I was here. Still waiting. Still craving.

"I—" She disturbs the silence of the grand room and my eyes jump to her as she stares at me. She swallows and I'm shocked she's allowed that small show of emotion. "I used to dance." Her whisper barely fills the space between us, but I hear her. I recognize that this is a gift to give me before I undergo something wild and dangerous. "Music...I've always loved music. Your music especially."