Risk and Reward

Chapter Twenty-Five~Trust

Azriel seems to have stopped breathing. I heave myself into a sitting position and twist to look at him to find that he's still blinking, at least. My hand raises ours to lie over my heart so he can feel it beat even though it's thundering. "I'm not sure how it's possible, but wards have never worked on me. If Madja uses magic to make the tonics, then that might explain it. I wanted to tell you before getting checked so you could be there. Az?" My voice trembles as I say his name and I breathe a sigh of relief when his hand squeezes mine. His chest rises and falls again, so I give him a few minutes to absorb the news in silence.

"Pregnant." He breathes, so quiet I nearly don't hear him. I nod. His eyes focus on me and lose the glassy look much to my relief. "A baby."

"I'm sorry." The words burst out of my mouth. "I know we talked about this before and you said you weren't ready. I said I wasn't even ready, but now this all might be happening—I never would have gone to the Rite if I'd known. Just—"

"Kaira." Az hushes as emotion fills my throat. "A child is not your fault. It's the product of two, of us. You have nothing to apologize for."

I pull in a deep breath and my throat clears, but my gut is still roiling. "Then...you're not upset?"

His gaze softens as he tugs my body back to him to hold me close. "I'm surprised, worried, and afraid, but not upset. My fears for such a process are still valid and there's so much not known about this, but..." He trails off and my head tilts to find tears falling down his cheeks. My heart squeezes as I reach up to wipe them away one by one. His eyes behold me and I'm not sure if I've ever seen more emotion in them than I do now. "I've never been happier, heart."

Relief floods me so potently that I think I might cry as our foreheads press together. "We're doing this, then?" A soft smile takes over his face and he presses a sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"Whatever you want or choose, I'll be by your side." He promises and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth as I take a breath.

"I want to. If it's there, then I want it." I tell him as our hands fall to once again lay over my stomach where a life might be growing.

"I want it too." Az murmurs and I can feel his fear and trepidation about the prospect, but also the hope. Both of us fall asleep entwined with one another and, for once, neither of us has a bad dream.

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Morning comes and along with it the realization that we'd slept until noon. I've barely woken up when my stomach releases a deep growl that has my mate chuckling. "You need food." He posits, but I make no move to get up.

"I need to keep doing this." My cheek slides slightly over his chest as I snuggle closer. He rumbles with a hand gliding over my curls and thankfully doesn't move. "You never explained that." I reach forward and run a hand over his inside the sling.

His chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh. "I wanted to go after you. Damn the consequences. Rhys got in the way and we had a bit of a tussle before he warded me in a room." I blink and lift my head from his chest to quirk a brow at him.

"You could have started a civil war," I tell him and he shrugs a shoulder. My head shakes, but there's a little smile tugging on my lips. The door opens and Az tugs me closer, then relaxes when we see it's only Rhysand with a tray of food. My mate doesn't release me and I'm glad of the fact.

"Morning." Rhys bids and sets the tray on the end of the bed as his eyes skate over us. "Thought you'd like some food before we talk. If you're up to it." I reach over and wince as the pain from my sore muscles comes back to me.

"Kaira," Az calls worriedly, but I wave him off.

"Just sore. And filthy." I glance to the sheets that I'd covered with dirt and blood. "Talk and eat, then bath," I order and glance at Az as he frowns at the thought of me having to leave him for even a moment. "It'll be quick. We can send for Madja afterward to check on you."