Longing •Bucky Barnes•

•Five•

I woke drenched in a sweat. I was anxious wrapped in my blankets and I flung by body parts to free me from it's hold. I cried out in fear and I finally freed myself, but felt cold hands grasp at me and body was being pinned down.

"Valerie wake up!" I heard and I just continued to cry and fight.

"Let go please! Let go of me!" I shrieked.

"Valerie snap out of it!" He shouted at me, but that's the thing I was aware of what was going on.

"Bucky let go!" I cried out and I felt his grip loosen after a moment and he got off of me.

"Are you awake?" He asked me out of breath.

"Yes." I whimpered out curling to the side. I curled into a ball and tried to catch my breath and calm myself before I lost control.

"I didn't know someone could scream that loud." He asked sitting at the side of the bed.

I didn't respond, not because I was watching my mouth, but because I couldn't calm down. Tears fell down my face and onto my sheets and I pulled them into my face. I was hyperventilating and I could feel my stomach churning. I felt like I was choking despite me being surrounded by air.

"Do you need something? A water?" He asked seemingly relaxing and dropping the attitude.

"No." I said weakly.

I felt myself shaking as I laid there on the warm bed. I seemingly felt as cold as ever in a cold sweat. I felt a hand placed on my bare leg and my mind shut off for just a moment. I nearly blinked and the next thing I knew I was on-top of Bucky and my hand was pressing down against his throat.

I instantly ripped my hands away and he gasped violently for air. I backed off of him frantically and pushed myself against the bottom of my bed frame. My hands flew to my mouth in shock of what I had just done. I scurried away from him because I hadn't meant to hurt him. Sure we joked and bickered, but there was no one here I wanted to hurt unnecessarily, even him.

"Valerie." I heard him croak out.

"Bucky I didn't mean- I blacked out, I didn't mean to hurt you, I promise I- I'm sorry." I said nearly gasping between words.

"Look me in the eyes." He said sitting up and I just looked at him scared to even breathe. "You're awake."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him shakily.

"Your eyes. When you're under their control your eyes get this weird look. Like they're glossed over and empty." He said breathing fairly heavily.

"I didn't mean to lose control I just flinched and suddenly you were there." I said and he stayed silent for a second before getting to his feet.

"Come on." He said reaching out his hand. I hesitated, but held out my hand and he pulled me abruptly to my feet.

"Where are we going?" I asked him scared.

"Come." He said and to my surprise he pulled me towards the bathroom.

We walked in and he went to the linen closet and pulled out a few rags. He went to the sink and wet one and squeezed out the water. He handed it to me and I looked at him confused and I he just nodded towards the mirror. I looked and saw my forehead bleeding down my face. He was being fairly gentle with me and I wasn't used to this.

"It happened when you threw me off the bed." He said and I just kept my head low.

I wiped off the blood and threw the bloody rag on the edge of the sink. He pulled me by my shoulder and his finger instantly pressed against the wound and spread some sort of viscous liquid. I wanted to wince away in pain, but refrained and let him do it. He placed a gauze over my forehead and taped it down with medical tape from the cabinet across from me.