Longing •Bucky Barnes•

•Eight•

"Valerie." I heard in the doorway and I didn't even raise my eyes to look up at him.

"Don't say it." I said emptily. I heard him exhale as I saw him in my peripheral as he stood in the doorway leaning against the frame.

"You need to sleep." He said and I dropped my book into my lap.

"I told you to not say it." I huffed looking to him and his hair had been pulled back. "A pony tail?"

He rolled his eyes and looked behind him in the hall like he wanted to walk away. I smirked to myself getting a rise out of him. He looked back to me and he was trying to hide a very obvious smirk. He was trying to hold it back and not say anything, but he couldn't help it.

"I didn't even say anything." I said throwing up my hands.

"What are you going to say then?" He asked.

"No you ruined the moment, it's gone now." I said shaking my head.

"Say it." He demanded.

"No." I said laughing.

"Come on." He said sitting into one hip.

"Looks different is all." I said shrugging as I closed my book and set it on the night stand.

"You're full of shit." He said shaking his head.

"Just didn't take you for the type is all." I said holding back my chuckles.

"Listen it's... for tactical purposes." He said trying to improvise.

"A tactical pony tail?" I inquired with a hesitant face.

"Alright that's enough." He said shaking his head. "Go to bed Valerie. Sleep deprivation isn't helping you any."

"You said it yourself I'm too scared. I can't sleep without waking up in a murderous rage, I don't feel safe." I said throwing up my hands.

"It happens." Bucky said shaking his head.

"I could kill you Bucky. I know we joke, but there's been too many close calls." I said crossing my arms.

"So what you deprive yourself of sleep? What happens then?" He asked me.

"I don't know Bucky." I said looking down at my hands in my lap.

"Go to bed." He said shaking his head.  

"Bucky can I ask a favor." I said knowing I had thought this over all day and still hadn't decided whether or not to even bothering asking.

I had talked myself in and out of this for nearly hours today. I went back and forth thinking I was being stupid for asking and the other part of me was desperate to do anything to get something to happen. I was desperately wanting something to just budge. If I could just get a glimmer of hope I think it would be easier to get somewhere.

"No I won't read you a bed time story." He said shaking his head and I just laughed.

"Will you stay with me? It sounds stupid but I don't know, I'm scared of myself if I lose control and every time I've stopped it I've had you to help. I don't know what else to try." I said huffing and avoiding eye contact.

"On one condition." He said raising his eyebrows.

"No bed time story?" I asked.

"No bed time story." He repeated.

"I tried." I said as he walked into the room.

"Last time I read Cap a bedtime story it didn't end well, I learned that lesson once before." He said and I just chuckled.