Longing •Bucky Barnes•

• Fifty Six •

I was sat on the porch of Sarah's house trying to just take in the calmness. I had finished the wiring on the boat yesterday as best I could, but I was in no condition to be doing the manual labor like Sam and Bucky had been. I was capable, but I needed to rest my arm as much as I hated to admit it. I was in a tank top and shorts as I sat on a rocking chair in the heat of the day.

Even this deep into fall, Louisiana was hot. Just standing out here in the humidity had me dripping in sweat. I had no idea how Sam had been wanting to throw the shield around after him and Bucky finished up the boat. Bucky had gone to take a shower a while ago but Sam stayed out long after Bucky had come out.

They had a long talk but I tried to not stick my nose into it. They had been going through a rough spot over the shield and what had been done with it. Sam needed to own it and Bucky wanted to make sure he was going to. Sam had been working and training for hours so I was hopeful this was the last time we'd have to make him realize that shield was meant to be his and no one else's.

Sarah walked out from the house carrying a tray full of drinks. She walked out and saw me sitting there and her eyes moved to Sam. She looked at him and I could see something was troubling her.

"You alright?" I asked her as she stood there with drinks still in hand.

"I'm alright, it's him I worry about." She said setting the tray down on the ledge of the porch.

"Why's that?" I asked her as she still watched Sam and Bucky.

"The shield. It means something a lot different to you all than it does to me." She said frustratedly.

"What's that?" I asked unsure of what she had meant.

"It means I'm going to end up worrying about him even more than I already do." She said crossing her arms leaning up against the ledge.

"Sam is always careful. He's a good leader, after everything that happened we need someone like him." I said softly. "I'm sure it doesn't make it any easier though."

"It doesn't. I mean don't you worry about each other? You know doing the things you do." She asked me and I thought for a moment.

"Yeah, we worry. But we have always come back, we have a reason to. Sam will always have a reason." I said shrugging.

"There's just too much that goes on out there." She said still shaking her head.

"Yeah but it's people like Sam who doesn't want it brought to your front doors." I said simply.

"I guess your right." She said not exactly sounding happy. "Your shoulder doesn't look good, I would offer you a first aid kit, but I don't think I have anything to fix something like that."

"Thanks, but I'd need a really big band aid for this." I said and I saw her tense demeanor shift to a chuckle.

"Yeah, I can see that. Do I even begin to ask what caused that?" She asked and I just smiled.

"It'll probably make more sense if I don't." I said smiling at her as she came and sat down next to me.

"That's probably for the best, I just don't know how you guys do it." She said exhaling still watching Sam.

"I don't know how we wouldn't. I don't think I could live a normal life if I wanted, I told Bucky we would after this, but I don't think I've ever sat still in my life." I said softly.

"You got kids?" She asked me and my eyes lowered to the ground.

"Sort of. My dad Tony, had a little girl, when what happened happened we took her in." I said knowing my tone had lowered a bit.