Longing •Bucky Barnes•

•Fifteen•

"Tony, Tony." I said frantically trying to get his attention before his assistant said the next word.

I was struggling to breath and I knew as soon as he said that next word I would be gone just like I had been every time before. I hung there from my restraints and I could tell they had stopped. I caught my breath and shook my head in defeat.

"What's going on?" He asked me now him speaking rather than the lab assistant.

"I can't do it Tony, I can't fight it off." I said gasping for air.

"Valerie, you have to beat this. I know you can, you need to pass this in a weeks time." He said and I could hear he was desperate.

"Tony I can't." I said lowly.

"What else can we do?" He asked me with a defeated voice.

I sat there and tried to hold it together, but I started to cry. Everyone told me I was stubborn and I knew I was, but this was something I just couldn't do. No matter how stubborn or determined I was, I was never going to get past this. HYDRA had sought out to make me a slave and they absolutely did.

Tears fell from my face and I didn't respond. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I wasn't bigger than this. I was a failure and everyone was just watching it unfold. I could never beat this, I was subject to these words and there's nothing I could about.

"We're going to unlock you, we're done for today." Tony said with a voice full of pain.

"No!" I said loudly.

"Valerie we've tried everything, it's time to rest for today. We'll hit this again tomorrow after we all rest." He said insistingly.

"No, I need to try again." I demanded.

"What's going to be different? What's going to make this time any different than the last time?" He asked and I took a second to gather myself because tears kept coming.

"Get Bucky." I said weakly.

"We already have Steve here if you wanted to go home." Tony said.

"No I'm trying again, bring Bucky here." I explained.

"Are you sure? I don't think Robo-Bitch is going to be able to help you." Tony said clearly oblivious.

"Tony just trust me." I said breathing out.

"Alright give us a minute." Tony said sounding confused.

I took deep breaths and tried to calm my self down. I wiped my tears off my face with my shoulder. My shirt was now wet with my copious amount of tears. I had no idea what I thought this would do, but he was the one person I felt like could understand or help me through this more than anyone.

I was weak and broken and he was the one person who has experience that I knew. He was who I found comfort in during most things so maybe he would be able to help me through this. Maybe I was just desperate and grabbing at strings, but I had to try. He would probably be mad at me but I was pulling at strings to find a way.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity having my arms confined to the restraints. It was starting to bother me, but I knew it was for the best. I don't think I could get out of this chamber to hurt anyone, but I would more likely than not hurt myself in the process. I needed to be locked up like this for the sake of everyone including myself.

I sat there in silence for a long moment. I was too tired to even look out at what the lab workers and Tony were doing. I heard the door in front of me open after a while had passed. I lifted my head and saw Bucky walking in looking very worried. His eyes were locked onto me and I knew I looked rough. Fighting off these words drained me and I knew I was very pale and washed out.