AYUSH ✔️

Chapter 34

I bet y'all weren't expecting this😊

AMIR's POV
It's been 5 days since my fight with ayush, it's the very first time we're having a serious fight and it's killing me. She has trust issues and that's what I hate the most about her, yeah I don't love her but I'm giving it a try.

I didn't want her to find out in such a way but I couldn't help it. There's a part of me that tells me I love her and some parts of me tells me I don't, I've been broken more than once and I can't afford that again.

Everything she said about me not loving her is true except the part she said I act like I love her so I can sleep in peace.

What I feel for her is nothing like that, I just need sometime to digest everything that has happened to me in the past few months.

Yeah I don't love her but I hate seeing her in pain, I love seeing her smile and I hate seeing her sad because she misses farhan.

All I want is for her to be happy and nothing more, it's not like I want her to get back with farhan, I just want her to stop worrying but she's taking it the wrong way.

I need someone to tell me it's okay to love again, but the only person that could tell me that and assure me it's going to be okay is one who betrayed me.

It's been long but I still can't believe umar betrayed me, as my best man and cousin he's the last person I could ever thinking of doing that to me.

And safina! I can't even with her but it's karma right what goes around comes around and that's what keeps me strong.

I just wish I could bring myself to tell ayush about my story, there's so much about me that's more than safina and umar's betrayal.

She needs to know why I can't risk loving her, I might end up hurting her which is the last thing I'll ever want to do.

I want to shower her with love and show her all is going to be alright but I'm too afraid to let another woman in, I'm too afraid to get heartbroken again, I'm not as strong as I seem or look, I'm way down than that, I'm just very good at masking everything up.

I just want ayush to at least find love because she needs all the love in the world, she's so fragile and suicidal, and I don't want to be the reason behind her death.

I might not be able to love her yet but I'll try to make her feel safe and happy. So i decided to let down my ego and pride to go apologize to her and inshallah all be back to normal.

"Ayush!" I hugged her from behind placing my head in the crook of her neck. She pushed me and continued stirring the sauce she was making.

"I'm sorry" I turned off the cooker and placing my hands on her shoulder making her turn to face me.

"For?" She raised her brow.

"For making me believe you love me or for making me fall in love with you so hard that it hurts" she said and kept quiet clearly waiting for a response. I took her hand in mine and placed a gentle kiss on it.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" I said in a very calm voice.

"I'm just too scared to fall in love again, I'm too scared to be heartbroken again and go through another betrayal, I don't want to end up hurting you instead of loving you, I might not love you yet but I'm afraid to lose you, I hate seeing you in pain and i thought maybe if you get back with farhan you'll be happy and be loved like you deserve, i thought maybe if you get back with farhan you'll be more happy than you'll ever be with me that's why I put so much energy in making you believe farhan is still alive, I–" she cut me off with a gentle kiss and said "I love you and nothing can change that" through the kiss and pressed her lips on mine again.