III. Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope to dies
17 February 2015, @ 21:31
It's a different kind of torture when someone who's never willingly broken a promise to you does so. But then again, those promises were made in happier days when he and I thought nothing could touch us.
He and I promised we'd always be friends and always be there for one another. Now, he's cut me off completely. I try to rationalise it; it was just as hard and painful for him to be forced to let go of me at first too I suppose. But the torture lies in knowing that he didn't understand the pain I was going through and how hard it was for me to be as open as I was with him. He ended up hating me for something he always used to beg me for: honesty about how I felt.
Not a day goes by when memories don't haunt me. I should look back at them and smile at the temporary happiness I had with him. But he also promised me forever. So knowing I was promised forever when I was just left alone again, I can't be happy. I miss the comfort, security and love he gave me but most of all, I'm terrified that I have to live in a world where he and I never existed because that's what he wants.
The result is that I almost barely believe anything people tell me. There are a select few who I take on their word but I find myself questioning almost everything anyone else says to me. This, is a sad state of mind to live in and I do not recommend it to anyone - even if just to protect yourself. You'll land up bitter and shunned.
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The Save Rock and Roll Journal - A fall out boy / SRAR based journal
RandomWarning! This book contains dark elements and multiple triggers as well as content not suitable for under 16s This is a book / journal based on lines from the album "Save Rock and Roll" by Fall Out Boy who are my inspiration and have saved me from m...
