The Save Rock and Roll Journal - A fall out boy / SRAR based journal

Book 5: Just One Yesterday

I. "I thought of angels choking on their halos, get them drunk on rosewater."

2 March 2015, Monday @ 19:07

Everyone has a dark side that isn't what people usually expect.

Some people are just so innately dark and evil that they eventually become the darker version of themselves.

Some people have that darkness in them, a small amount, that they only allow out occasionally in cases where they need to protect themselves.

Some people convert their darkness into coldness. In a sense, that's what I've done. There are certain emotions I've grown cold towards and feel almost nothing for them.

Two months ago, I had a great boyfriend who promised me the world and we were planning our wedding and life together. We were one of those couples that made people sick with how in love we were.

Now, when I think back on that an icey feeling washes over me. "He took my love and he filled it up, filled it up with novocaine and now I'm just numb." I feel as though it was just another bump in the road I must walk to gain my own peace and happiness and that was a lesson I had to learn in order to keep on travelling as opposed to staying stuck.

It messed me up for a while, the breakup. But I recovered and now I feel like I'm a stronger person who won't fall for the same thing again. It's a good feeling to take back the power that someone once held over you and use it as fuel to your fire to become greater.