Her Toxin

Ending

My hands were resting on the top of her chest when Shannon leant in. Getting dangerously close to my lips before her nose swiped my cheek gracefully. I felt her suck in her breath before her rose petals wrapped themselves around mine. One singular kiss that made me feel heady.

I keep my eyes closed, opening them to see that Shannon's now turned her back to me. Huffing a sigh of what I can only assume is relief.

"You're lips are enough for anyone to fall in love with you." She then told me that she want's to remain celibate until we've slaved away at our loose ends and finally made a decision on if we'll start a family together or not.

"We've both been running for so long Cari." She tells me. "I mean, look at us. Look at you and what you've got with Syd."

Come on. Look at the situation Shannon! We've already ruined it, my heart ached ever since you set foot in Sydney's house and I've felt out of place ever since. Those were the words I wanted to let crawl out of my mouth like an infant.

My words didn't come, Shannon cupped my cheek in her bigger, stronger hands. I feverishly looked into her eyes wanting her to read between the lines and found myself trying to lean into her maturity instead. Pursing my lips looking at her eyebrows softening as she read the expression on my face.

"Is it really that bad?" I'm overcome with emotion, my eyes going glazed with tears before a loud soft cry leaves my mouth. My hands making fists on the upper part of her chest when she gives a condescending no! Cari in response to these waterfalls. "we seem to struggle not being together...you're not making sense!"

"I...I'm so fragile right now and I'm holding all these fragments of my heart out for you. I want us to get back to who we are at the core. It's not right that we keep trying to find ourselves or rekindle the love with superficial things." She kisses my forehead whilst she holds me. Massaging my back lightly whilst my heart starts to elevate itself again.

"I want to grow old with you Cari. I want to travel with you, learn with you...heck- I want all of it." I hear her pause for a second. "We just need to slow down."

She places my hands around her neck before speaking again "would it really be that bad?"

"I'll have a conversation with Syd when she's back from work...if you want me to?" part of me wanted to kiss Shannon tenderly again, but part of me saw that it wouldn't be right to. I can see all the uncertainty in Shannon's eyes and it's killing me.

"She really loves you." Why on earth did she have to say it like that?

"And I really love you and you really love me." I say, putting my forehead against hers. "I don't care what Syd will say or do; I want to be with you."

My hand is firmly on her chest. "I can deal with her Shan."

end of story!