The Outsiders {Spanking}

Lust

Warning- This chapter contains mature sexual content.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been patient about how long this chapter took to upload. <3

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Sodapop's POV

To lose someone I never had hurt hurt much more than loosing someone who was mine. There was this overwhelming question of what if that consumed my mind.

What if Steve was just using me?

What if he didn't mean anything he said?

What if all our time together was a lie?

What if I meant nothing to him?

What if I did?

What if he actually does love me?

No.

He doesn't.

I buried my head deeper into my pillow in hopes to muffle my thoughts but it only made them grow louder.

I tried to listen to the summer morning nature, but all I could hear were stupid annoying birds. I didn't have the energy to get up and close the window, so I just began hitting my head with the pillow. I wanted to go to sleep, but I knew my mind would be anywhere but at rest.

I heard my bedroom door fly open and then I felt the bed sink in. Darry grabbed the pillow I was using to suffocate myself with and gently placed it beside me. "You need to get up." He told me with a bit of compassion. "You've been lying in bed for two days."

"I like my bed." I groaned and hid under my covers.

"I know you're upset about Sandy-" I groaned at her name, but only because it wasn't her who I was upset about. "-But you can't stay in bed all day."

I ignored Darry and stayed in my blanket cocoon. I heard little footsteps and then felt someone else jump onto the bed. "You can come with me and Curly to the Dingo." I heard Pony say.

I flipped the covers off of me at the mention of Curly. I haven't seen him in a hot minute. "I thought you weren't allowed to hang out with him." I raised an eyebrow at Pony who shot me back with a dumbfounded stare.

"Yeah, that's why I need you to come with me."

I honestly did consider it, but I folded my blanket back over my head and muttered a no. Pony complained loudly and then left the room. Darry flicked my head through the sheets. "Well you can't keep skipping work." He told me.

"I quit." I mumbled.

"You what?" He didn't seem mad, but more shocked. He uncovered me and then lifted me up into a seated position. He gave me a hard look that said explain fast.

"Steve and I are in a fight, I don't wanna go back there." I explained.

"When did this happen?" His eyes went wide, but mine just sunk shut. I didn't tell Darry, or anybody when I came home that night. I could barely talk because I was crying so much. And when Darry asked me about it the next morning I only filled him in on Sandy.

"The night Sandy left." I began playing with the end of my shirt, pulling and twisting us gently as his words replayed in my head like a record.

We can't happen

I'm not gay

Shut up

And then the look, the look he gave me as he walked away. One of which I sure meant, I don't love you.