Porcelain

Chapter 16

They all talked at once, making sure Dally was okay, that he would at least stick around the night, and filling him in on the recent events. They tiptoed around the fact that his near future had been decided for him, but everyone had the common sense to realize that now wasn't the best time to tell him that.

Estelle started at him from across the room. He met her eyes. The other gang members saw this, and quietly left the room.

She walked over to where he now lay on the couch.

"Why did you do it?" He asked quietly. "It would have been so much easier just to let them fire, wouldn't it? Why didn't you just let me go?"

She smiled, looking down. "Because I cant," she replied bitterly. "I can't let you go. I've already lost so much, Dally. I couldn't live, I couldn't die, knowing that I hadn't done everything to keep it from ending like that. The way it ended for my mom. My dad. Johnny. Too many people I love have left me too soon. Not another. Not another death, that I could have stopped."

He scoffed.

"What?"

"You don't love me. We barely know each other."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't love you. But remember Cherry Vallence? How she said that night, that she never wanted to see you again, or she'd fall in love? Love doesn't take time. I don't know what it takes, but it ain't that. I loved Johnny. I really did. But unlike Cherry, I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to love you. You deserve that much. And even though we haven't known each other long, that was a lie, Dallas Winston. A big fat fucking lie. We don't barely know each other. We know each other's dark secrets. You know what happened to me in jail. You know what happened with my dad. Just like how I know how much you loved Johnny. How you're scared of heights more than you are of cops. How when you were a kid you tried to make your dad proud of you too. Don't say that bullshit to me. We know each other."

He smirked. "Fine. I guess we do. That still doesn't mean you love me, though."

She sighed. "Were you not even listening to me? I know I don't. But I know I can. And I'm going to accept that. I won't back down. Because you need it. Because I want to. I might not love you yet, Dally, but I care for you. I want to love you."

She saw that he was drifting off. She brushed his wispy blonde hair back from his face, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Sweet dreams."

_____
Darry pulled her aside in the kitchen as he cooked what was going to be breakfast but felt more like an extremely overdue dinner.

"You got feelings for him, don't you?" He said, feigning casualty.

"'Course I do. I got feelings for you too, you kinda scare me," she replied.

"You know what I mean."

"No I don't, care to explain to me?"

"You like him. You're, infatuated, I suppose would be the right term."

She sighed. "If I knew I was gonna be having this chat I would have left already. But no one has ever loved that boy. The only one who ever did, he's dead now. I don't know, Darry. He attracts me. I can't just let him go, even if I wanted to."

He studied her for a moment. "Treat him good, will you? Goodness knows he needs it."

She half smiled. "He sure does. I think he's finally earned his chance at peace."

_____
Estelle took the afternoon to search her house for anything she might want to take with her, any memories she wanted to cling to. The record player got packed, the large stack of records, all of her clothes, which weren't very many now. As a quick afterthought, she finally opened her mother's closet, and took out her favorite dress and her favorite pair of shoes. She always looked radiant wearing the outfit, Estelle always loved to see her mother happy like that.

She opened her jewelry box, carefully taking out the jewels she had always loved as a child. They had never felt like hers to have, but now she finally felt like it was time.

Her childhood bedroom had nothing left for her. There was nothing in that room that would make her happy moving forward.

She jumped when she heard the door open. She calmed down a bit when she saw it was Dally, though.

"What are you doing now?" He asked.

"I'm packing. I'm choosing everything I want to take with me moving forward."

"Where are you going?"

"Arkansas. I said that when it all went to shit that I was leaving and not looking back. And I think that time is now."

He had a forced look of calm on his face.

"Wanna come with?" She asked. "Nothing's holding you here anymore. Come with me."

He looked conflicted, carefully weighing all of his options. Finally he exhaled, dropping his hands to his sides.

"Fine."