Porcelain

Chapter 36

Dally and Estelle spent the next week or so in Tulsa. It was as if they'd never left in the first place, and they acted like they'd never left either. Except, they didn't step foot back into Estelle's old house.

Her and Dally were walking around town looking for something do to. They'd already eaten at the Dingo that morning, and bothered Steve and Sodapop at work. Olliver had been fed and walked, and there was nothing much left for them to do.

"Dally," Estelle asked as they walked. "How long do you want to stay here?"

"Dunno," he replied. "I kinda like being back here with the gang again, and there's more stuff to do."

"I was just asking, cause, we've been here a while and we're still hogging the Curtis' couch, we'd probably better make plans or go back home."

"It may be your home, but it sure ain't mine."

That stung a bit, even though she knew it was true. "I take it that you're not anxious to leave, and that's fine. But I made a life for myself in Arkansas. I'm not anxious to stay here."

Dally sighed. "Then don't. Go back to your home."

"And leave you here?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to though, I left so I could have you to myself," she said, a burning light in her eyes.

"Well we can't always get what we want, can we?"

She just laughed. "What a joke, coming from you, Dallas. You always get what you want, or die trying. And I know I'm the only one stoppin' you from that. And that just fascinates you. I have just as much power as you do," she smirked. "And You just can't get over that."

He snorted. "Sure you do," he said sarcastically. "I'm all you've got left. I have a power over you, don't you forget that."

"Oh so we're playing dirty now, are we? Don't discredit me. I've been through as much as you, Dally. And I've come out stronger. Not sure I can say the same about you, I'm the reason you're alive."

"You made your whole personality around a toy," he scoffed. "Made to be used and discarded. Only fun for a little bit. Well, that's what you are. You were fun for a while, and now I'm tired."

"That escalated quickly!" Estelle said, raising her eyebrows dramatically. "So is this it? Time for us to say our goodbyes? No, time for me to say my goodbyes, all it seems like I'm getting from you is a 'good riddance.' Is that it, Dally? You're ready to lose me, your girl?" She asked in an incredulous, mocking tone.

"No, Essie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," Dally groaned. "I don't wanna break up with you, I just said that in the moment. I didn't mean it."

She narrowed her eyes. "Bullshit," she snarled. "I don't think that was a lie, Winston. You said what you've been thinking. But it's okay. I'm used to it. I know you don't love me, I can't force you to. Maybe I was stupid to think it would be different this time," she said, a bitter grin on her face.

"No, you're not stupid, I'm the stupid one, I shouldn't have said that. Can we go home now?" Dally pleaded.

"Yes. We can. But for you, that means here. And for me that means Arkansas. You have a choice, Dally. You can come with me or you can stay here. But I'm not gonna bend for anyone this time."

Dally didn't answer.

Estelle smiled. "We could be happy together, Dally. I just don't think that time is now. Come find me when you're ready," she said, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

Then, she turned and walked the other way, while Dally stared, realizing all that he'd lost just then.

_____
Estelle gathered her things in a daze. Things were so normal just that morning. Hell, things had been normal a half hour ago. But her life always seemed to move at a breakneck pace, and this was no exception.

She scribbled a note out to Ponyboy and a note to all three Curtis' and placed them on the table.

She carefully got her dog settled in the backseat of the car, and placed her things into the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat and once again driving out of Tulsa.