Unexpected

9. Helen

Ouch.

For some strange reason, what he just said hurt.

"Goodnight," I say, and my voice breaks slightly. I hope he doesn't notice.

"Helen—" he starts to say, but I cut him off immediately.

"Don't worry, I should have guessed it. You're like that, it's true." My eyes are filled with tears as I speak and look at him.

I can't believe I let my guard down with him that much.

"Listen, I don't—"

I put my hand on his mouth. "You're not involved, it's just that I'm tired of being anybody. I just want... to be special to someone." I blink and heavy tears stream down my cheeks.

He sighs. "Helen, you are special."

I shake my head. "You're only saying that because I'm crying in front of you, Harry, that's why."

"No instead." He puts his hand on my cheek and wipes my tears with his thumb. "I know that sometimes I can be an asshole, but my career went downhill after that injury."

"Well, I'm sorry, okay? But what is my fault?" I'm fucking sobbing.

He runs a hand through his hair. "Helen, I'm like that with everyone. Maybe even a little less with you."

"But you are anyway! Do you think I'm okay after my brother's story? Meanwhile, I always smile." I take a break. "And that sucks..." I burst into sobs and move closer to him.

He holds me in his trained arms and then in a low voice asks me, "What story about your brother?"

Oh, right. He doesn't know it.

I sniff, my tears wet his undershirt. "Few know, Harry. I don't know if I want to tell you," I confess and lift my head to look him straight in the eye.

He brushes my hair off my face and tucks it gently behind my ears. "You can tell me; I understood that it's an important thing, so the least I can do is be as close to you as you will allow me."

Well, after what he just said...

"Okay." I swallow before I start talking. "My brother, Cole, was my best friend... the only one who really knew me..."

Hearing the words 'was', 'knew' his shoulders stiffened, his jaw is clenched and he shivers in his arms.

"Harry, he—" It's too bad a thing to explain, to say, so I can't finish the sentence as I burst into tears again.

He holds me tighter, kisses my head. "Don't worry, I understand. I'm so sorry."

We stay put like that. He strokes my hair and I can feel his heartbeat under his pecs. One of my legs is between his. We end up falling asleep like this, and it's incredible, because, despite these caresses, he hates me because I don't want to be one of the many and I hate him for the shit character of him, for the way he treats everyone.