Unexpected

1. Helen

"No, Helen. You're doing wrong, let's do it again," my singing teacher blurts out, irritated.

We are trying to record a cover, where my best friend plays the piano and I sing. And everything is already difficult, plus my teacher is too fussy, too much. I've been studying this song for months, we've practiced whole days with Jade, yet she never gets it right. Sometimes I wonder if she just does it on purpose.

"I'm sorry, let's do it again." I glance at Jade, who also looks at me with a sympathetic look.

Jade starts with the intro of the song and after four bars I start singing, for the twentieth time in an hour. The song is Say Something by A Great Big World and Cristina Aguilera; it's not easy to sing, but my key is good enough to make it sound at least decent.

"No, stop!" Miss Williams interrupts us again and at that point I let out an exasperated snort without meaning to. "Helen, what's your problem?"

I am tired, and angry. How is it possible that everything I do never goes well? "What, excuse me?"

She puts her hands on her hips looking at me from behind the glass that separates the soundproofed room from the one she's in. She goes to the microphone and repeats, "What's your problem?"

Jade turns to look at me and wraps her fingers around my wrist. "Helen—"

"My problem is that I'm tired!" I snap, unable to hold back a second longer. "I think there's nothing wrong with it! Not with the song, not with Jade, not even with me!"

As I speak I can see her eyes widen with every syllable and her face turn purple with anger. But I don't give a damn.

"I'd like to know what your problem is, Miss Williams. Tell me, so maybe I can figure it out," I shrug, like a mockery. I know I'm cheeky, but this woman is becoming impossible to bear.

"Helen Scott! Get out!" she yells into the microphone, making my poor friend jump.

"Well, I was just leaving anyway." Before leaving the room, I look at Jade and whisper to her, "Sorry, but I couldn't take it anymore."

"I understand you, honey. See you this evening?" she asks me smiling as I take my almost empty backpack and put on my jacket.

At the sight of her smile, my rushing mood can only soften a little, and I am infinitely grateful to her for that. "Sure, I'm home tonight!" I say, happy. I spent the whole weekend with my mom and dad in Richmond and drove two hours this morning — on a Sunday too — to come here and get nothing.

"It is fantastic!" She hugs me and tells me she has a movie in mind that we could watch. "I'll see you later, I'll see if they have something to say about me too," and she chuckles.

"Oh, no. I'm always the wrong one here... anyway, see you later, bye."

"See you tomorrow, Helen," Miss Williams says goodbye with the most fake smile on her face, making me even more annoyed.

I leave the room without saying goodbye to anyone, they don't deserve it today. "Pieces of shit," I say to myself after closing the door to hell behind me.

I love to sing, I really do, but when they stress me out like this... Let's forget it. When I say I hate singing right after I feel guilty for saying it. As a child, singing helped me a lot after my brother Cole fell ill with a heart disease that got worse and worse. The last memories I have of him are episodes of the 15-year-old me singing to him the songs of his favorite singers. He was my best friend, the only one I could trust blindly, but he left me alone in this world, and I miss him every day.

I get into my car and look in the rearview mirror, I realize my eyes are shining and when I blink heavy tears fall on my cheeks rosy from the cold. I put my hands on the wheel and lean my forehead on it, bursting into sobs. "Why can't I do something right once and for all?" I say out loud. It's something I often do, say what I think out loud when I'm alone, hoping that someone up there will be able to hear me.

After more than five minutes, I'm still standing in the parking lot, my head resting on the headrest and my hands still clutching the wheel.

"Helen?" Jade knocks on the window gently. "Oh shit." She goes around the car and gets on the passenger side. She reaches out to me and holds me in a comforting hug. "I love you, and he wants does from up there too, okay?" She is the only one of my friends who knows how to console me in this way, the only one who knows how badly I feel about this story of my brother.

I nod, my nose nestled in her chocolate-colored hair that smells of vanilla. "Jade, you know," I detach myself from the embrace and look at my hands "sometimes I want to blame someone, anyone—" I stop for a moment, because my voice trembles "but I just can't."

"You are fantastic, everyone knows that. It's just that bitch of her, because she knows that deep down you're even a thousand times better than her, and that bothers her." She gives me a sympathetic look. "Believe me, that's why she belittles you so."

I look at her with a questioning expression. "You think that's it?"

"Well yeah. There is nothing wrong with you, you have talent to spare. "

I sigh, continuing to overthink everything. "But—"

She cuts me off. "No buts. Let's go home. Luckily you weren't leaving yet, otherwise I would have remained on foot. I forgot to tell you I needed a ride," she chuckles to lighten the heavy air in this vehicle.

"What a fool," I shake my head laughing too, then I take some tissues from my backpack and wipe away my tears.

On the drive home, we laugh and joke about literally anything.

"There's a fraternity party near campus on Friday, shall we go? Grace says Harry Davis will be there too." Jade informs me happily.

"Oh, wow. Should I give a damn?" I say shrugging.

"I'm just saying. Grace says his friends will come too. I don't know if you remember them but..."

"They are handsome as hell," we say in chorus, because I had predicted she would say so. "Asshole Harry won't even give you a rope, why do you keep chasing him?"

She turns to look at me and frowns. "Chasing him? What are you saying, I don't. If anything, he's the one who shows interest in me."

Poor me. "Jade, I don't think so. Lately he doesn't even glance at you," I point out.

"Oh, no. You're the one who doesn't notice it," and she shakes her head. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a pastime for her or if she really feels something serious about someone like him. "Are we going there? It would do you good to have a little fun. You are very stressed these days and I think you need a physical release," and she looks at me with a perverted smile on her face.

Well, she's not wrong, I actually need it.

"I promise you I'll be the mom of the night, I won't even have a beer while you get drunk and end up in bed with a really cool guy," she adds.

"Okay, but promise me that if Davis doesn't pay attention to you, you'll leave him alone once and for all," I tell her as I stop the car in the parking lot behind our building.

"Right, but he doesn't make me understand anything, he confuses my ideas every time I see him. You know how many times he has ignored me after spending some of the best nights of my life with him."

I look at her in shock before opening the door. "I think you're lost in love with a jerk," I tell her laughing.

"No, Helen. He is an important person to me but I would never want a serious relationship with him. Now let's go because I'm starving."

I don't know how much I believe that she would never really want to be with him, but still.

We open both doors and get out of the car, then I lock it. "Yeah me too. I need to recharge after I rebelled against Miss Williams like that."

We laugh together and go up to our apartment.