Unexpected

42. Harry

Nothing has changed. Outside my home the world is still living.

My friends only saw me a moment before I went out to chase Helen, but I guess they didn't even realize it was me, they were dead drunk. The usual.

Seeing Helen was a relief. She's still the same, she's only shortened her hair a little perhaps, now it reaches three inches below her shoulders. Of course, four weeks is not a long time, but it seemed like an eternity to me.

But I noticed something different. Despite the alcohol, when I saw her dancing alone, it seemed that she couldn't enjoy the night, as if she was doing everything to have fun. Maybe she succeeded a little bit, but I didn't even see the shadow of a smile.

When I put my arm around her waist she had her eyes closed, she didn't recognize me, but when she inhaled the scent of my skin she immediately understood who I was...

In that moment, in that exact moment, I realized how strong the thread that binds us is, but also how weak it can be.

Even if we couldn't use a word to describe what we were, we were important to each other, despite all the times we hated one other.

I knew she was making a place inside of me, putting others aside as well. And she is still doing it. As her chest heats up and down with her calm breathing, my heart hurts, but I don't care. I know what's going on. It's she, who is digging inside me to find something good, who is looking for a fixed place in my heart, because in my head she has already found it.

I want her to do it, I want her not to stop, because I need this pain that makes me feel so damn good.

That's it, and even though I've tried not to make it happen, something is happening, and I can't help it anymore.

• • •

I didn't foresee that she would try to run away from me, I assumed she would listen to me, but she didn't; she has every right.

She is dying of cold, she is pale, she has purple lips and bare legs, the hot air and the sweatshirt do not help. I have to put her under her covers.

She was asleep within a minute, so before leaving, I lower the back of her seat so she can be more comfortable.

I decide to take her to my house — mine and the boys'. I still have the keys and I can't take her to her house, where Jade probably is.

As I drive I dare to put her hand on her leg. She shivers. She is so cold.

In two minutes I find parking almost in front of the house.

I get out of the car and go around to pick up Helen. I take her belt off and put one arm under her knees and one under her back to lift her up. I lock the car and head home.

I find it hard to open the door, but I succeed and I enter by closing it with my foot. I go upstairs and have Helen lie down on my bed; she still sleeps.

Okay, I need to get these wet clothes off her right now. But first I take off my wet shirt.

Here I am. I gently lift her neck to pull the sweatshirt off her head. Then I take her heels off.

And now her dress. How the hell does this thing take off? I have to admit it's really cool, but my man brain can't figure out how the fuck it takes off.

Maybe there is a zip on the back.

Oh no... I have to turn her on her stomach at this point.

Okay, I can do it without waking her... I can do it.