˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

funeral

Dark clouds hung over the gloomy graveyard as rain poured from the sky. The Avengers were gathered around, solemn and quiet. They had lost one of their best, no, the best. They were all affected in one way or another, but the one who was hurting the most was none other than Steve Rogers. Their relationship had been complicated, but everyone who knew them knew that they were unusually close. Too close to be friends, one might even notice. As he stood on the stand, his blond hair styled neatly, blue eyes swollen and teary, dressed in a black suit, one couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 

"When I was younger I believed in the idea of soulmates, that you would find one, date them and then get married and live happily ever after. It wasn't until I lost the one person who understood me the most that I realized soulmates could be platonic and not just lovers. And sometimes soulmates aren't supposed to stay together, they go through a part of life and they move on, they find another love, they die, but you will always be soulmates. And the worse thing is, you will only realize when they're gone. Natasha Romanoff was more than just an assassin that she thought she was. She had wiped the red in her ledger long before she realized. She was a friend, an aunt, a daughter, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, an avenger and so much more than she believed. And most of all, she was my soulmate. My biggest regret is that I never got to tell her how I felt when she was still around. And now that she's gone, it's too late to tell her now. Natasha was my partner and we worked well on missions, but in my heart she was so much more than that. I first met Natasha on a Helicarrier, after getting off my Quinjet at 11.53 a.m. She was a feisty, flirty S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who kept a lot of secrets, even some from herself. As we went through the years, she opened up to me a little more everyday and I saw her personality shine through the cool façade she often put up. She was smart, funny, kind and didn't mind the fact that I often made references from old movies, often teasing me about it, calling me a fossil. We kissed once on an escalator for a mission. It wasn't as romantic as I expected our first to be, but we made it work. When she told me she trusted me shortly after, my heart melted. She wasn't one to trust and the fact that she trusted me was a very big thing to her. And I trusted her too, because despite what she thought about herself, that she wasn't enough for this world, she was always more than enough for me. We drifted apart slightly during the events following the attack of Ultron, and as much as I hate to admit it, I was pretty jealous of Bruce. But for a while, Natasha was happy and I was happy for her so I gave Bruce my blessing. But when he broke her heart at Clint's house and she ran into my room sobbing that night, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had made a move before he did. I loved how she often put on a façade in front of others, hiding the dark and ugly parts of her past, but she was completely open and vulnerable with me. I knew better than to break her heart so I feared asking her out, for our friendship might be ruined and her heart be broken. I honestly didn't know if she liked me as a friend or something more and I was often left in my own fantasy of what-ifs and a perfect, flawless life in a perfect world with her. Clearly that didn't work out. She broke my heart when she sided with Tony during the Sokovia Accords. I didn't know this back then, but the only reason she did was so that her future children, our future children would have social security and protection against all the evil we worked so hard all our lives to fight off. Her mind might have been with Tony but her heart was with me. When our teams fought against one in the airport, she fought everyone except me. She refused to fight me, instead letting me go for the price of her freedom as well. I remember the sparkle in her eyes when she whispered the word "Go,", saving my life as well as Bucky's from the government. She was always there for me and was always ready to risk everything and drop everything just for me. Even when I had nothing, I had Natasha. And as we fought side by side everyday, my love for her only grew. Now that she's gone, I have no one. I have nothing. She always said that nothing lasts forever, but this nothingness will last till the end of time. She was selfless above all, and sacrificed herself for the good of the world. Because of her death, millions were saved. I love you Natasha Romanoff. I hope wherever you are, you're in a better place." With that, Steve wipes the fallen tears and gives the crowd a small smile before stepping off the stand.

Natasha watches the funeral take place from a distance away and her heart breaks when she sees Steve. She longs to run to him, to comfort him, but she knows it will only break him more. She wipes away tears that had fallen from her eyes and bites her lip as they lower the casket into the grave, Steve barely holding it together.

Rain comes pouring down from the sky above, making everyone scramble for shelter. But Steve remains standing in front of her grave, letting the rain soak through his clothes. Natasha pulls a hood over her head, still watching him silently.

He looks in her direction for a moment and she lowers her head, turning around. He thought he saw something. Her prominent red hair, perhaps. But maybe in his grief he's simply imagining things.

A/N: whoever coined the word funeral and decided to add fun in it has clearly lost their shit. anyways its the first day back to irl school and im about to lose my shit too so i should die. vote and comment my loves!! ilyyy