˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

gone forever

Natasha Romanoff was reckless, that was a known fact. She has asked Fury for a difficult mission and he had given it to her.. Nick Fury was a very untrusting person, but Natasha was one of the few people who he trusted, so when she had asked for a difficult mission, he had given it to her, knowing that she would have the ability to manage it and get out safe. But for once, he had underestimated the enemy. 

Steve Rogers was awoken at 3am to find Natasha missing from his side. He called her name and when she didn't answer, concluded that it could be only one thing: her nightmares. And her stubborn ass had decided to take it out somewhere and not wake him, again. He checked the gym, she wasn't there. He checked the garage, her car was there. He checked the control room and there he saw her, on a screen, somewhere out of town. He slips into the room, standing next to Fury. 

"What did you do?" He asks, glaring at the director. 

Fury sighs, "Nothing she can't handle. Don't worry. Agent Romanoff is very capable."

Steve shakes his head in disbelief. "This is practically suicide." 

Now it's Fury's turn to glare back at him. "Like I said, she can handle it."

"What if she can't?" Steve whispers, suddenly looking down instead. 

A moment of silence passes between them before Fury speaks up again. "If you're gonna be here as her lover, then leave. Or else, stay and trust her. She can do this."

Steve sighs, hoping that he is right, getting up to make himself a cup of coffee. If he was going to spend the whole night with Fury watching Natasha on her mission, he would need to keep himself awake.

As he takes the coffee pot off the stove and pours the black liquid into his cup. A buzzer goes off.

Code Red. Something was wrong. 

He rushes back and gapes at the screen. He could not believe it. The love of his life, Natasha Romanoff, one against at least a hundred men. It was a trap and one would know that this was it. There was no way out. It was practically suicide by now. And there was nothing Steve could do about it. 

Nick Fury knew it was too late for him to send in any backup at this point. As he watched his best agent go in alone, he knew that she was doomed. But it was too late for anything now. He stared at the same set of screens, knowing very well that it was the end. 

"Why did you send her in alone without any backup?" Steve whispers, his eyes not leaving the screens as he clenches his fist in worry and anger. He wasn't mad at Fury, he wasn't mad at Natasha, he was simply mad at the idea that she was in there alone and about to be slaughtered. 

"Agent Romanoff knew what she was doing. And she knew that the only way to take them down would be going in by herself and putting an end to it, even if it meant sacrificing her own life for the sake of others. She learnt that from you." Nick Fury replies, equally as concerned and worried but made sure not to show it. 

Steve sighed. Of all the things she could have picked up from him after their years of working together, it was his sacrificial love and selflessness. Not that he was complaining, but he didn't want to lose her. Not now, not yet, not ever. He knows that he would have done the same thing given the same circumstance. But now he was left to do absolutely nothing but watch her die before his eyes knowing that he could not save her. "You said she was capable of handling this."

"I did. And she is capable of handling this. But she isn't immortal." Fury states, trying to brush off emotion but his eyes are noticeably redder. 

The two men who meant the most to Natasha sat side by side in silence as she removed a small round object from the tool belt around her waist. Steve immediately knew what it was. A grenade, small but deadly, lethal but effective. The same make and model that he had once jumped over during his pre world war training days, except his was fake and this was very real. 

Steve knew from the moment that she had been surrounded that he would never see her alive again. This was it, this was the endgame. She would finally put an end to the organization, payed in full with the price of her life, wiping out the ledger she often spoke of. She pulled the pin and he opened his mouth to scream, but remained entirely silent. There was a bright flash of light before the screen went blank. 

And in that moment, his heart shattered into a million pieces, beyond repair. And nothing would be able to fix him ever again. Natasha had made him whole, she had put him together, faced his darkest fears with him and brightened up his days. And that was it. There wasn't going to be anymore of that, not ever again. She was gone. And he was all alone in the world, left with nothing and no one. 

He  would later spend the rest of his life in a living hell in which he lived in the trauma of watching her die before his eyes, knowing he was unable to save her. He had in fact saved her on multiple occasions, not that she needed saving, she was always so strong. From the Battle of New York to the old S.H.I.E.L.D. facility to when they fought side by side against every battle they had been in. This haunted his days in daydreams of her and his nights with nightmares of her dying on a loop. Prior to this, whenever he had nightmares, she was always there. Now these were about her, and she was no longer there. He broke down over her almost every day and never recovered from it.  She was gone forever. He was broken forever. The world was a nightmare forever and ever more. 

A/N: apparently posting give me motivation to write more so here's this. feel free to cry.