˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

always be mine

"You're my best friend Steve Rogers, and I'm very very happy for you. Truly, I am. I am so proud of you and how far you've come. I hope your marriage brings you bliss. I have had the privilege of knowing you for this long and it is a decision I will never regret. You deserve everything. You deserve the happiness Sharon has to offer for you. I've seen the two of you together. You're happy. And I'm happy for the two of you, a match made in heaven," Natasha says, raising her glass for a toast.

She had thought of a lot of things to say for this occasion.

No matter what you do, no matter who you end up with, you'll always be my best friend. And just know that I love you above everything, as I always have, before all those women broke your heart and I will continue to do so till the end of time.

I tried to set you up, one too many times, one too many women. I knew they weren't right for you, they never would. No one knew you like I did. It's like, you were my soulmate, but I wasn't yours. And I knew I would never make you happy. So, I made it my life's mission to find someone else who would. And I did. Sharon carter. She was perfect for you, and anyone would be lucky to date you, especially her. She was perfect, the perfect specimen of a shield agent, with a legacy that was honourable and reputable. Unlike mine. Unlike my gushing red ledger.

And you love her. Which was perfect. Perfect for you, perfect for her, just perfect. I tend to repeat myself when I'm mad or jealous, but you don't know that you think my emphasis is encouragement. I'm glad you think it is really. I wouldn't have it any other way.

But sometimes I find myself wishing it could be more. Youve always been more to me. I first met you and knew you would be in my life for a long time, but I just didn't know how. Now I do, and I hate it. Best friends. Forever and till the very end. Your heart would always belong to another that wasn't me, and I would always be the stupid fool who was secretly in love with her best friend. Her best friend who was completely oblivious to the fact. Natasha, you stupid girl.

I dread the mornings, when our conversations of the drunken nights are long forgotten, the bed we shared now cold and empty. The figure that kept nightmares away gone and flirting with another. Who was I to judge? You were never mine to love anyways.

For you, there's nothing I wouldn't do. We've fought aliens, robots, hydra, side by side in every fight. Long live the walls we crashed through.

But I know I can't risk it. Not with you. I care too much about you to throw what we have away. What we have is beautiful. It's poetic. You're my best friend, my favourite person and one of the few people I trust in the world. It would pain me if I ever hurt you.

So, I'm letting you go. I'm always going to love you. But not in the way that it's possible. Best friends, that's all we'll ever be. You know that. And I know that. It is a truth universally acknowledged. You mean a lot to me; in ways you never know.

But no, none of that. This was his special day. He was marrying Sharon Carter. No feelings or anything. No I love yous of best friends. It was just him and another. And her and no one.

Fuck this all to hell.

Distracted. That was all I ever was around you. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, but you. How stupid was I to think that this was all just a simple friendship. Nothing in life was this simple. But I couldn't act on it, not when I deemed myself unworthy, not when you were so clearly in love and happy with someone else, not when I was the one who set you up. I pushed you away, claiming I needed space, when in truth all I needed was you.

"Hear hear," the crowd chants.

And that's it. This is it. He's married to another. She no longer has a chance. All because she realised a little too late. And he loved her a little too soon.

He smiles at her, nodding to signify he enjoyed the speech. Of course he would. She had rewritten it so many times and hoped it would be perfect. And he made her heart flutter. She swallows hard and sighs.

Stop. Stop thinking about it. It's over. Your chance is over. You rejected him once, and now he's married to another. It's too late for you. You have to let him go, even if it hurts, even if it's going to break you, even if it's the last thing you'll ever do, even if it will kill you to do so. Let him go Natasha, let it go.

She smiles back, and sits down with a sigh, gulping down the remaining champagne. She needs more alcohol, better alcohol perhaps. She would kill for some vodka, not just some, the entire fucking bottle. All of it. Maybe that would drown her sorrows. Maybe that would help her forget him, forget everything that ever happened, forget herself, forget life. Get so drunk to the point of no return. And he wouldn't be there to pull her out of her misery this time, he would be too busy being happy, celebrating life as a newlywed. With her. He would be happy with Sharon Carter, not her. Bloody hell.

Another round of cheering snaps her out of her thoughts, she smiles along as Tony raises his glass and downs it. But it hurts. It hurts that everyone is happy. Everyone is happy for him, everyone is happy with him. Everyone but her.

It's why love was for children. It wasn't worth all the pain. 

A/N: oh look who's back. and with another tragedy cmon what did we expect? also how fun is it to watch the best friend you're in love with get married to another person? i wouldn't know, but maybe it would be something like this? also as always its inspired by my real life experiences but over exaggerated because im dramatic and extra like that. vote comment and enjoy my loves. xx.