˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

the summer

The warmth of the sun hits her back as she pushes up her sunglasses, trying not to look directly into the sun, staring straight ahead at the ocean instead. Natasha lets out a long sigh, which resembled that of a cry, more so than a sigh. This was the summer she was determined to be productive, and she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure she did just that. The stack of books she had brought along for her beach read glared up at her. If you are going away for that long, you should at least be productive, Pepper Potts had told her.

And for once in her life, she had decided to heed her advice. Some romance books would help her get over the love that she lost that spring, the love she had fallen too hard, too fast, and too much into, the one that broke her so much she was determined that she would never recover. But here she was, on the beach, with only books to keep her company, the classics of Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, to contemporary romance of The Love Hypothesis, The Spanish Love Deception, The Song of Achilles, The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo. The books would bring her more comfort than he ever would, than he ever did. They would help her get over Steve, slowly but surely, bit by bit, and she could only hope.

She opens the first page of Pride and Prejudice, and the first line leaps out at her, the iconic line that she knew by heart at this point, the line that read, It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. But he was not in want of her, not anymore, that is why he broke up with her and broke her heart, because he wanted her, but he did not want her anymore.

She sighs and relaxes against the beach chair, shrugging off her top, revealing a skimpy bikini, the bikini she had bought because she thought that he was going to propose and take her to the Maldives. But he did not, and they broke up before she had the chance to even show him that bikini once. It was bright red, fun and sexy, like how she had felt at the time when she had purchased it but wearing it alone now on a beach felt different, she did not feel anything like what she should have felt, she just felt lost, helpless, and tired.

She was not ugly by nature, in fact most deemed her to be quite pretty, her features were prominent, and her green eyes sparkled with gold flecks in the sun. Her fiery red hair contrasted her pale skin. But her looks did nothing for her self-confidence, she shied away from the public eye and hated being in places where she could be noticed, hated being in photos and hated being the talk of the town. It is why she had to move away when they broke up, because she became the talk of the town when he became high profiled.

The screen of her phone lights up with a ping, she ignores the message, knowing that it can only be from one person, Maria Hill who was completely invested in their relationship up till the break. She has been ignoring her best friend since they broke up, because part of her thinks it was her fault for pushing her to him, for setting them up, for shipping it all the way, so part of the reason her heart had shattered into pieces was because of her. And she knew that she was away on sabbatical, in an attempt to get over the guy that she had introduced and broke her heart, so why was she contacting her.

Call me, the message read, in a subtle but important tone. Call me? She sighs and picks up the phone, her fingers hovering over the contact, debating whether to call her or not. The next series of messages flood in as she is pondering over her options. He wants you back. He says he is sorry.

She shakes her head and throws the phone across the beach, and it lands in the ocean with a plonk. She will not take him back, she would never take him back, not after he broke her heart and no amount of apologising would make her take him back, and he would never be able to make it up to her, not through roses, candlelit dinners, romantic gestures, or proposals. Three years of her prime, that was how long she had spent with him before he broke her heart, her prime years wasted on a man who could not commit to her. She hated the fact that she had spent all her years with him and hated the fact that she was still not fully over him, like she was trying but she was getting there, slowly, too slowly for her liking, she needed to move forward and move past him, forget him forever.

The summer moves quickly, and she reads as quickly, her book boyfriends, Darcy, Jay Gatsby, Adam Carlsen, Aaron Blackford, helps her get over him, it helps her move on. It is a process, a prolonged process, which will never fully help her get over him, but they patch up the holes in her heart, put the shattered pieces of the puzzle back together. She is forgetting him, him and all his red flags, but it is a good thing to move on, to grow and go on, to live her life to the fullest, without him dictating her every move and every action.

That summer was hard, and she struggled through it, but she pushed through it, got over him, it was over, and so was him, and so was her love for him. The end of the end, she felt free, that feeling was good. She missed Steve, but she knew that she was going to be okay, eventually. 

A/N:: alexa play sad girl summer by maisie peters. and yes i 100% name dropped all my fav books what about it? and well its tragedy what did you expect after two chapters of not tragedy cmon you should know me better than this. vote and comment lovelies ily. okay maybe i lied, this might be my active era after all?