˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

long story short

You know that feeling, when you're with someone but you don't feel like their attention is fully on you? Like they're distracted or something, to busy with something else to make time and space for you? Well if you haven't I hope you never have to know that feeling. But sadly, Natasha did. 

Steve was late, again. And when he did eventually show up, he was busy, again. On the phone, again. Had a meeting with an important client, again. He had barely looked at her all night. 

And that's when the sinking feeling in her gut makes an appearance again. The same sinking feeling which had been long buried when he had reassured her at the beginning of their relationship. They were long past that. They had gone through every stage there ws, the pining, the dating, the engagement, the marriage, the honeymoon, the slump, the fighting, the make ups, the break ups, the kisses, the hugs, the fucks. 

He looks up from his phone only when she says the dreadful few words, "We need to talk." And everything that is spiraling stops spinning. They get off the carousel of the endless cycle. 

There's yelling, the usual, the inaudible bits of movies they cut off because it's too boring and painful to watch the characters go through it again and again. 

"I'm sorry Natasha. But I need you." He confesses. 

There is a moment of dead silence before she speaks again, as she considers her options. Take him back like she has always done, end the night next to him in bed in a passionate heat, but go into all that knowing that this would probably happen again and it would be an endless cycle of destruction. "There is nothing you can say to make this right again."

"It was a white lies." He reasons. Not good enough, do better Steve. 

"White lies are still lies." Her blood is boiling, she's fuming mad. "Was she worth this mess?" She who shall not be spoken off, the woman Steve had been flirting with endlessly since God Knows When, his blond haired perky assistant who brought him coffee every morning and wiped his desk with her pencil skirted ass as she sat on his desk with her legs spread and he fucked her. 

"No. you're worth this mess though." He says. No amount of words would make up for the cheating. 

"You're infuriating." Natasha yells. 

"You're intoxicating." Steve yells back. 

"Fuck you Rogers." She yells. 

"You know you want to!"

"No. Not after you put your cock in that office slut."

"I said I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cover it."

"Why are we always ending up in a situation like this?" He asks, stopping the yelling going between them. 

"Like what?" She's confused by what he means. They end up this way all the time, but is there a word or phrase to describe it? 

"Screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain." He quotes Taylor Swift. And she hates it, not because she hates Taylor, because in fact she absolutely adores her, but The Way I Loved You was far from their song, and she didn't want it to be, but she couldn't help but think about these lyrics and how they matched up with their lives, and she desperately didn't want it to, for that would mean he was right, and if he was right, she was wrong. 

"Because that's the way I love you." She quotes back. And she's not wrong either, because in truth she did love him, even after what he did, which is why they found themselves reverting to the same patterns over and over, he cheats, he apologises, they yell, she takes him back, over and over, time and time again. "I hate how I love you, but this is not healthy. we can't keep going back and forth like this. We have to end this."

"I know. But I can't breathe without you." He confesses. 

"You were doing fine when you were screwing her." Her words cut deep, but he knows that he one hundred percent deserved it. 

"That's because I always had you to come back to." And he was telling the absolute truth, he may have cheated but knowing that she would always be there for him made him feel less guilt about it, which was worse, because he played on her trust and her forgiveness. 

"Let me go Steve." She says, shaking her head. "It's over. And you know it. There's no fixing this mess we made."

Steve shakes his head as he whispers, repeating her words. "It's over." She nods. "It's over." The whispering turns to screaming. "It's over." He throws the chair across the room towards her direction, she dodges, it hits the wall behind her, it would have hit her if she didn't dodge. "It's over."

"What the fuck Steve?" She says, looking between the chair and him and the wall. With a shake of her head, she turns on her heel and leaves, ignoring his screaming and yelling behind her, ignoring the sound of breaking glass and smashing furniture, ignoring him. It's over. 

This is the finale of whatever this is. The music at the end of a sad movie plays. She walks away from him, from whatever that was, from the most toxic part of her life, the relationship which would have ended her if she had not ended it then and there. She should have ended it at the first cracks in the glass, when it had all began, but she held on too long, until it blew up in her face, and it could have been all prevented by an early intervention. Time is always of the essence, catching something early would always be the best option, but always walk away before it's too late. 

A week later, he gets served divorce papers, he signs them without a word of questioning and she gets the papers back in a matter of days, but his signature stares up at her, as if haunting her. She holds on to the papers for a long time, not daring to pen her signature on the document. If she does, it will really be the means to an end, the last time they will ever interact, the last time she will ever have to deal with the matter at hand, or in her case, in her hands. She picks up the pen, her fingers hovering over the line as she scribbles her signature down, her hands shaking. 

"Fuck," she mumbles under her breath. 

The chapter of her life closes. It hurt, it killed her inside, but she survived. 

Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanoff, Married 2014

Natasha Romanoff. Divorced 2020

A/N: and i fell from the pedestal right down the rabbit hole yes this is named after a taylor swift song although the story is not based off the same song but rather a series of songs. bonus points for identifying them all. and yes it's tragic again what did we expect cmon we should know me better than this by now. yes im still writing my novel and no its not even almost done at this point because it only has 17k words when i need 66k to publish but we're getting there i hope. so i might or might not be active depending on the amount of motivation i have and the amount of free time i have while im trying not to fail school which i am at the moment oop. vote and comment lovelies.